Podcast: "I Feel Snitty"
Episode 42: A Letter to the Enabler
Premiere Date: 4/9/20
Length: 15:49 (2,182 words)
Link: https://ifeelsnitty.podbean.com/e/a-letter-to-the-enabler/
Transcript:
Welcome to I Feel Snitty, episode 42, entitled, “A Letter to the Enabler.” I’m your host, Craig Rozniecki.
#DearPresident was trending #1 on Twitter the other day. For those unsavvy Twitter folks out there, that means like a lot of people were talking about #DearPresident on Twitter. This was due to a back-and-forth fake president Trump had with Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer. Tommy Lee, drummer of ‘80s hair band Motley Crue and regular social-media hater of Trump, even started trending for a #DearPresident letter he shared, but was actually written by one Craig Alan Wilkins. In this episode, I thought I’d do similarly, but before I do, allow me to provide you all the necessary background information to this feud, nasty letter style.
On April 2nd, Schumer sent Trump the following letter:
“Dear Mr. President:
As the Coronavirus spreads rapidly into every corner of our nation and its terrible, grim toll grows more severe with each passing day, the tardiness and inadequacy of this Administration’s response to the crisis becomes more painfully evident. Well-documented shortages of protective equipment, tests, and medical supplies are now beyond acute in my home state of New York and other hard-hit areas, and similar shortages are expected soon in many other parts of our country.
While companies that volunteer to produce ventilators and PPE are to be commended and are appreciated, America cannot rely on a patchwork of uncoordinated voluntary efforts to combat the awful magnitude of this pandemic. It is long past the time for your Administration to designate a senior military officer to fix this urgent problem. That officer should be given full authority under the Defense Production Act (DPA) to complete and rapidly implement a plan for the increased production, procurement and distribution of critically-needed medical devices and equipment.
The existing federal leadership void has left America with an ugly spectacle in which States and cities are literally fending for themselves, often in conflict and competition with each other, when trying to procure precious medical supplies and equipment. The only way we will fix our PPE and ventilator shortage is with a data-driven, organized and robust plan from the federal government. Anything short of that will inevitably mean this problem will remain unsolved and prolong this crisis.
As it stands today, you have charged Dr. Peter Navarro, an academic economist, to be the leader of this effort. With all due respect to Dr. Navarro, whose expertise is in other areas, he is woefully unqualified for this task. The existence of a separate ‘shadow’ effort elsewhere in the White House has made the Administration’s response even more confused and uncoordinated.
As you may know, there are many logistics professionals in the United States military. These are trained experts who have spent their careers ensuring that every service member from the foxhole to headquarters have everything they need in peacetime and wartime, regardless of whether they are in the middle of a desert; at sea; or providing support to civilian authorities in the wake of a natural disaster. The crisis our nation is in the midst of today demands this kind of seasoned expertise immediately.
It must also be pointed out that while you continue to dismiss the Defense Production Act as not being needed, it is clear that the capacity of American industry has not yet been fully harnessed, either in prioritizing and allocating urgently needed medical supplies and equipment, in rapidly expanding domestic manufacturing efforts to produce them, or in providing certainty to manufacturers – through purchase orders, purchase guaranties, or other mechanisms – that the US will use and distribute all of the medical equipment and supplies they can produce. This is a failure that must be addressed quickly for the sake of our health care professionals and the people that are vulnerable to and already sick with this deadly disease.
This is a matter of the utmost urgency for the health of every American. Regrettably, our national response is far behind where it should be. But by acting now, there is still time to help protect our medical professionals, reduce suffering and save lives.
Sincerely,
Charles Schumer”
Now here’s Trump’s response letter.
“Dear Senator Schumer:
Thank you for your Democrat public relations letter and incorrect sound bites, which are wrong in every way.
1. As you are aware, Vice President Pence is in charge of the Task Force. By almost all accounts, he has done a spectacular job.
2. The Defense Production Act (DPA) has been consistently used by my team and me for the purchase of billions of dollars’ worth of equipment, medical supplies, ventilators, and other related items. It has been powerful leverage, so powerful that companies generally do whatever we are asking, without even a formal notice. They know something is coming, and that’s all they need to know.
3. A ‘senior military officer’ is in charge of purchasing, distributing, etc. His name is Rear Admiral John Polowczyk. He is working 24 hours a day, and is highly respected by everyone. If you remember, my team gave you this information, but for public relations purposes, you choose to ignore it.
4. We have given New York many things, including hospitals, medical centers, medical supplies, record numbers of ventilators, and more. You should have had New York much better prepared than you did, and as Dr. Fauci and Dr. Birx said yesterday, New York was very late in its fight against the virus. As you are aware, the Federal Government is merely a back-up for state governments. Unfortunately, you state needed far more of a back-up than most others.
If you spent less time on your ridiculous impeachment hoax, which went haplessly on forever and ended up going nowhere (except increasing my poll numbers), and instead focused on helping the people of New York, then New York would not have been so completely unprepared for the ‘invisible enemy.’ No wonder AOC and others are thinking about running against you in the primary. If they did, they would likely win.
Fortunately, we have been working with your state and city governments, Governor Andrew Cuomo and Mayor Bill DeBlasio, to get the job done. You have been missing in action, except when it comes to the ‘press.’ While you have stated that you don’t like Andrew Cuomo, you ought to start working alongside him for the good of all New Yorkers.
I’ve known you for many years, but I never knew how bad a Senator you are for the state of New York, until I became President.
If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to call. Or, in the alternative, call Rear Admiral Polowczyk.
Sincerely yours,
Donald J. Trump”
Now here’s my response. Warning: There may be language used in this letter which would even make the likes of Richard Pryor cringe. Listener discretion is advised. Sorry, mom.
Dear President Blimp-Bellied-Cheeto-Faced-Innie-Dicked-Fetus-Handed-Antichrist-Like F*ckhead:
You were told before inauguration day to be prepared to face the worst pandemic since the 1918 Spanish Flu, which you probably feel a big, beautiful wall would have prevented. When the National Security Council of the Obama Administration provided you a 70-page document to prepare you for a pandemic, you declined, likely saying, “Take away the 7 and I’ll think about it. I only read book things that have 0 pages or less.” You let go of the pandemic response team which was handed to you by the previous administration, because you probably felt they were illegals from Panama and should be working at your golf courses instead. In November of last year, you were warned about Coronavirus, yet three months later, you referred to it as a hoax; said you had the situation under control; and even went so far as to claim there were just 15 cases of Coronavirus in the United States and we’d be down to 0 in a couple of days, with no fatalities. There are now over 400,000 cases, so yeah, you were right, for as basic math has long taught us, if someone offers you either 15 bucks or $400,000, you go with the 15 every time. You sent Personal Protective Equipment or PPE to China; delayed invoking the Defense Production Act; promoted drugs not yet approved by the FDA, which have had a spotty track record, to be kind; named a guy to head your Coronavirus task force who doesn’t know his ass from his amygdala in Mike Pence; named a grown-up Ken doll to head another such task force in Jared Kushner; and constantly lied to the American people about the virus, its origins, how to combat it, and the risks involved. Not only that, you’ve consistently provided a bad example of social distancing during your press briefings. Telling the American people to not shake hands and to stand at least 6 feet apart from one another is one thing. Accepting blowjobs from Mike Pence while receiving hand massages from everyone else on stage while saying these things is quite another.
Every time you have been confronted about these missteps, instead of being a leader, of even being an adult, you’ve acted like a 5-year-old who denies eating cookies to your mother, as your face is covered with chocolate chips, and told the world, “I don’t take responsibility at all,” and deflecting blame elsewhere. You’ve blamed: China, Obama, the media, the Affordable Care Act, Congressional Democrats and their impeachment hearings, the World Health Organization, local and state governments, hospitals, General Motors, Chuck E. Cheese, Blockbuster Video, everyone named Justin, etc. Okay, so those last three may not have been uttered yet, but just wait, for I wouldn’t put it past him.
Then, as thousands of people die, not once have you illustrated any semblance of compassion or empathy. Instead, you’ve gone the malignant narcissist route, in making this all about you. Instead of showing any kind of heart to the thousands of families who have lost loved ones to this virus, you’ve bragged about the ratings of your press briefings. Who does that? If you were to give a eulogy, would it sound like this?
“I loved John. John was so very special to me. He was like my BFF, Jim, I mean John. It’s really very sad what happened. He really should never have bungee jumped with just a fruit rollup tied around his legs. That’s a waste of a perfectly good fruit rollup. Am I right? So, anyway, there’s someone coming around counting all of you, so I know how many people are listening to me speak right now, because that’s really what it’s all about, isn’t it? Yeah, John died. Boo-hoo. Sad. But how many people listened to me? Let’s see a show of hands. How many of you came here today just to listen to me? Do you all even know Jeff, or John? Okay, I see my sweet Cinnamon walking back this way with the magic number. This is fun, isn’t it? The tension mounts. Wait, what’s this say?”
You know how car wrecks get good ratings, as while people may not like them, they are fascinated by them and wonder what could happen next? That’s you. You’re the car wreck. People aren’t tuning in, expecting to hear some profound words of wisdom emanating from the shit-spewing anus you refer to as your mouth. No, they’re tuning in to see if you’ll make up a new word; if you’ll break the Guinness World Record for lies in a single press briefing; if your pants will literally catch on fire due to all the bullshit you spout; etc. People aren’t watching you as the Titanic, not knowing the ending. They’re watching you as the Titanic, knowing full well you’ll hit that iceberg at some point, perhaps multiple times.
It doesn’t matter that you don’t want to be held responsible for your own decisions; you are responsible. When you announced your run for president, you were telling the country you wanted to be held responsible for which direction our nation went. When you became “president,” you became responsible for which direction our country went. There’s no way out of it. Well, there is one way – resign. Resign and you will be void of the responsibilities which have been placed upon your morbidly obese shoulders for the past 3 ½ years. I know you won’t do that, though. I know you won’t resign and I know you won’t ever take responsibility for your callous words or criminal actions. You’ll continue to deny, distract, and deflect until you’re finally, for the first time in what seems like your 274 years here on earth, be forced to take responsibility. …and believe me, if it doesn’t happen before then, it’ll certainly happen on November 3rd, when the American people vote to kick your sorry ass out of the White House, well on your way to the Big House, bigly.
Sincerely,
Craig Rozniecki
That's it for today's episode. I'll see you again next week. Until then, you can check me out on Podbean, Twitter, Amazon, and Blogspot. This has been I Feel Snitty with Craig Rozniecki. Take care.
Episode 42: A Letter to the Enabler
Premiere Date: 4/9/20
Length: 15:49 (2,182 words)
Link: https://ifeelsnitty.podbean.com/e/a-letter-to-the-enabler/
Transcript:
Welcome to I Feel Snitty, episode 42, entitled, “A Letter to the Enabler.” I’m your host, Craig Rozniecki.
#DearPresident was trending #1 on Twitter the other day. For those unsavvy Twitter folks out there, that means like a lot of people were talking about #DearPresident on Twitter. This was due to a back-and-forth fake president Trump had with Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer. Tommy Lee, drummer of ‘80s hair band Motley Crue and regular social-media hater of Trump, even started trending for a #DearPresident letter he shared, but was actually written by one Craig Alan Wilkins. In this episode, I thought I’d do similarly, but before I do, allow me to provide you all the necessary background information to this feud, nasty letter style.
On April 2nd, Schumer sent Trump the following letter:
“Dear Mr. President:
As the Coronavirus spreads rapidly into every corner of our nation and its terrible, grim toll grows more severe with each passing day, the tardiness and inadequacy of this Administration’s response to the crisis becomes more painfully evident. Well-documented shortages of protective equipment, tests, and medical supplies are now beyond acute in my home state of New York and other hard-hit areas, and similar shortages are expected soon in many other parts of our country.
While companies that volunteer to produce ventilators and PPE are to be commended and are appreciated, America cannot rely on a patchwork of uncoordinated voluntary efforts to combat the awful magnitude of this pandemic. It is long past the time for your Administration to designate a senior military officer to fix this urgent problem. That officer should be given full authority under the Defense Production Act (DPA) to complete and rapidly implement a plan for the increased production, procurement and distribution of critically-needed medical devices and equipment.
The existing federal leadership void has left America with an ugly spectacle in which States and cities are literally fending for themselves, often in conflict and competition with each other, when trying to procure precious medical supplies and equipment. The only way we will fix our PPE and ventilator shortage is with a data-driven, organized and robust plan from the federal government. Anything short of that will inevitably mean this problem will remain unsolved and prolong this crisis.
As it stands today, you have charged Dr. Peter Navarro, an academic economist, to be the leader of this effort. With all due respect to Dr. Navarro, whose expertise is in other areas, he is woefully unqualified for this task. The existence of a separate ‘shadow’ effort elsewhere in the White House has made the Administration’s response even more confused and uncoordinated.
As you may know, there are many logistics professionals in the United States military. These are trained experts who have spent their careers ensuring that every service member from the foxhole to headquarters have everything they need in peacetime and wartime, regardless of whether they are in the middle of a desert; at sea; or providing support to civilian authorities in the wake of a natural disaster. The crisis our nation is in the midst of today demands this kind of seasoned expertise immediately.
It must also be pointed out that while you continue to dismiss the Defense Production Act as not being needed, it is clear that the capacity of American industry has not yet been fully harnessed, either in prioritizing and allocating urgently needed medical supplies and equipment, in rapidly expanding domestic manufacturing efforts to produce them, or in providing certainty to manufacturers – through purchase orders, purchase guaranties, or other mechanisms – that the US will use and distribute all of the medical equipment and supplies they can produce. This is a failure that must be addressed quickly for the sake of our health care professionals and the people that are vulnerable to and already sick with this deadly disease.
This is a matter of the utmost urgency for the health of every American. Regrettably, our national response is far behind where it should be. But by acting now, there is still time to help protect our medical professionals, reduce suffering and save lives.
Sincerely,
Charles Schumer”
Now here’s Trump’s response letter.
“Dear Senator Schumer:
Thank you for your Democrat public relations letter and incorrect sound bites, which are wrong in every way.
1. As you are aware, Vice President Pence is in charge of the Task Force. By almost all accounts, he has done a spectacular job.
2. The Defense Production Act (DPA) has been consistently used by my team and me for the purchase of billions of dollars’ worth of equipment, medical supplies, ventilators, and other related items. It has been powerful leverage, so powerful that companies generally do whatever we are asking, without even a formal notice. They know something is coming, and that’s all they need to know.
3. A ‘senior military officer’ is in charge of purchasing, distributing, etc. His name is Rear Admiral John Polowczyk. He is working 24 hours a day, and is highly respected by everyone. If you remember, my team gave you this information, but for public relations purposes, you choose to ignore it.
4. We have given New York many things, including hospitals, medical centers, medical supplies, record numbers of ventilators, and more. You should have had New York much better prepared than you did, and as Dr. Fauci and Dr. Birx said yesterday, New York was very late in its fight against the virus. As you are aware, the Federal Government is merely a back-up for state governments. Unfortunately, you state needed far more of a back-up than most others.
If you spent less time on your ridiculous impeachment hoax, which went haplessly on forever and ended up going nowhere (except increasing my poll numbers), and instead focused on helping the people of New York, then New York would not have been so completely unprepared for the ‘invisible enemy.’ No wonder AOC and others are thinking about running against you in the primary. If they did, they would likely win.
Fortunately, we have been working with your state and city governments, Governor Andrew Cuomo and Mayor Bill DeBlasio, to get the job done. You have been missing in action, except when it comes to the ‘press.’ While you have stated that you don’t like Andrew Cuomo, you ought to start working alongside him for the good of all New Yorkers.
I’ve known you for many years, but I never knew how bad a Senator you are for the state of New York, until I became President.
If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to call. Or, in the alternative, call Rear Admiral Polowczyk.
Sincerely yours,
Donald J. Trump”
Now here’s my response. Warning: There may be language used in this letter which would even make the likes of Richard Pryor cringe. Listener discretion is advised. Sorry, mom.
Dear President Blimp-Bellied-Cheeto-Faced-Innie-Dicked-Fetus-Handed-Antichrist-Like F*ckhead:
You were told before inauguration day to be prepared to face the worst pandemic since the 1918 Spanish Flu, which you probably feel a big, beautiful wall would have prevented. When the National Security Council of the Obama Administration provided you a 70-page document to prepare you for a pandemic, you declined, likely saying, “Take away the 7 and I’ll think about it. I only read book things that have 0 pages or less.” You let go of the pandemic response team which was handed to you by the previous administration, because you probably felt they were illegals from Panama and should be working at your golf courses instead. In November of last year, you were warned about Coronavirus, yet three months later, you referred to it as a hoax; said you had the situation under control; and even went so far as to claim there were just 15 cases of Coronavirus in the United States and we’d be down to 0 in a couple of days, with no fatalities. There are now over 400,000 cases, so yeah, you were right, for as basic math has long taught us, if someone offers you either 15 bucks or $400,000, you go with the 15 every time. You sent Personal Protective Equipment or PPE to China; delayed invoking the Defense Production Act; promoted drugs not yet approved by the FDA, which have had a spotty track record, to be kind; named a guy to head your Coronavirus task force who doesn’t know his ass from his amygdala in Mike Pence; named a grown-up Ken doll to head another such task force in Jared Kushner; and constantly lied to the American people about the virus, its origins, how to combat it, and the risks involved. Not only that, you’ve consistently provided a bad example of social distancing during your press briefings. Telling the American people to not shake hands and to stand at least 6 feet apart from one another is one thing. Accepting blowjobs from Mike Pence while receiving hand massages from everyone else on stage while saying these things is quite another.
Every time you have been confronted about these missteps, instead of being a leader, of even being an adult, you’ve acted like a 5-year-old who denies eating cookies to your mother, as your face is covered with chocolate chips, and told the world, “I don’t take responsibility at all,” and deflecting blame elsewhere. You’ve blamed: China, Obama, the media, the Affordable Care Act, Congressional Democrats and their impeachment hearings, the World Health Organization, local and state governments, hospitals, General Motors, Chuck E. Cheese, Blockbuster Video, everyone named Justin, etc. Okay, so those last three may not have been uttered yet, but just wait, for I wouldn’t put it past him.
Then, as thousands of people die, not once have you illustrated any semblance of compassion or empathy. Instead, you’ve gone the malignant narcissist route, in making this all about you. Instead of showing any kind of heart to the thousands of families who have lost loved ones to this virus, you’ve bragged about the ratings of your press briefings. Who does that? If you were to give a eulogy, would it sound like this?
“I loved John. John was so very special to me. He was like my BFF, Jim, I mean John. It’s really very sad what happened. He really should never have bungee jumped with just a fruit rollup tied around his legs. That’s a waste of a perfectly good fruit rollup. Am I right? So, anyway, there’s someone coming around counting all of you, so I know how many people are listening to me speak right now, because that’s really what it’s all about, isn’t it? Yeah, John died. Boo-hoo. Sad. But how many people listened to me? Let’s see a show of hands. How many of you came here today just to listen to me? Do you all even know Jeff, or John? Okay, I see my sweet Cinnamon walking back this way with the magic number. This is fun, isn’t it? The tension mounts. Wait, what’s this say?”
You know how car wrecks get good ratings, as while people may not like them, they are fascinated by them and wonder what could happen next? That’s you. You’re the car wreck. People aren’t tuning in, expecting to hear some profound words of wisdom emanating from the shit-spewing anus you refer to as your mouth. No, they’re tuning in to see if you’ll make up a new word; if you’ll break the Guinness World Record for lies in a single press briefing; if your pants will literally catch on fire due to all the bullshit you spout; etc. People aren’t watching you as the Titanic, not knowing the ending. They’re watching you as the Titanic, knowing full well you’ll hit that iceberg at some point, perhaps multiple times.
It doesn’t matter that you don’t want to be held responsible for your own decisions; you are responsible. When you announced your run for president, you were telling the country you wanted to be held responsible for which direction our nation went. When you became “president,” you became responsible for which direction our country went. There’s no way out of it. Well, there is one way – resign. Resign and you will be void of the responsibilities which have been placed upon your morbidly obese shoulders for the past 3 ½ years. I know you won’t do that, though. I know you won’t resign and I know you won’t ever take responsibility for your callous words or criminal actions. You’ll continue to deny, distract, and deflect until you’re finally, for the first time in what seems like your 274 years here on earth, be forced to take responsibility. …and believe me, if it doesn’t happen before then, it’ll certainly happen on November 3rd, when the American people vote to kick your sorry ass out of the White House, well on your way to the Big House, bigly.
Sincerely,
Craig Rozniecki
That's it for today's episode. I'll see you again next week. Until then, you can check me out on Podbean, Twitter, Amazon, and Blogspot. This has been I Feel Snitty with Craig Rozniecki. Take care.
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