Transcript to Podcast: "I Feel Snitty," Episode 44: "Have a problem? Put some Clorox on it.," is now available!
Podcast: "I Feel Snitty"
Episode 44: Have a problem? Put some Clorox on it.
Premiere Date: 4/27/20
Length: 8:14 (1,278 words)
Link: https://ifeelsnitty.podbean.com/e/have-a-problem-put-some-clorox-on-it/
Transcript:
Welcome to I Feel Snitty, episode 44, entitled, “Have a problem? Put some Clorox on it.” I’m your host, Craig Rozniecki.
It finally happened. At long last, it finally happened. Donald Trump has stopped giving his daily coronavirus press briefings. Why, you ask? Because of the incredible backlash he’s received, from anyone with even a shred of humanity, regarding his recent medical advice. He’s since attempted to excuse his idiocy as sarcasm, but I’m not sure that’s much better, for he’s either calling himself a schmuck or the worst joke-teller in recorded history. Before I go any further, here’s his full quote:
“So I asked Bill a question some of you are thinking of if you’re into that world, which I find to be pretty interesting. So, supposing we hit the body with a tremendous, whether its ultraviolet or just very powerful light, and I think you said, that hasn’t been checked but you’re gonna test it. And then I said, supposing it brought the light inside the body, which you can either do either through the skin or some other way, and I think you said you’re gonna test that too, sounds interesting. And I then I see the disinfectant, where it knocks it out in one minute, and is there a way you can do something like that by injection inside, or almost a cleaning. Because you see it gets in the lungs, and it does a tremendous number on the lungs. So it’d be interesting to check that. So you’re going to have to use medical doctors, but it sounds interesting to me, so we’ll see. But the whole concept of the light, the way it goes in one minute, that’s pretty powerful.”
So yeah, he was being sarcastic. He was about as sarcastic as Lassie was an elephant. Even just the thought of him being sarcastic at this time is despicable, and this is coming from someone who’s been nicknamed “the king of snark” on Twitter a time or 50. The country is in a panic due to a worldwide pandemic and the President of the United States decides it’s the right time to give sarcastic medical advice? :: cough :: Asshole. :: cough ::. Sorry, I had something caught in my throat. Where was I? Ah, yes, there’s no chance in hell Donald Trump was being sarcastic. The guy doesn’t know what sarcasm entails. He thinks deadpan means a kitchen pan which has just been infected with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. You need some semblance of intelligence to be able to both understand and successfully project sarcasm, and yeah, Trump possesses about as much intelligence as literal bitches possess penises.
So knowing full well Trump wasn’t being sarcastic, let’s fact-check Trump’s ridiculous medical advice. The following information comes courtesy of the BBC News Reality Check Team.
When it comes to the disinfectants suggestion, the BBC Reality Check Team wrote this:
“Using a disinfectant can kill viruses on surfaces, but this is crucially only about infected objects and surfaces – not about what happens once the virus is inside your body.
Not only does consuming or injecting disinfectant risk poisoning and death, it’s not even likely to be effective.
Doctors have appealed to people not to ingest or inject disinfectant, as there are concerns people will think this is a good idea and die.
‘Injecting bleach or disinfectant at the dose required to neutralize viruses in the circulating blood would likely result in significant, irreversible harm and probably a very unpleasant death,’ says Rob Chilcott, professor of toxicology at the University of Hertfordshire.’
He adds that it would also ‘not have much effect on viral particles within the cells.’
Reckitt Benckiser, a leading manufacturer of disinfectant products including Lysol, has issued a statement in response to the president’s comments. It said: ‘We must be clear that under no circumstance should our disinfectant products be administered into the human body (through injection, ingestion or any other route).’”
With regard to Trump’s commentary on light, the fact-checkers wrote this:
“There is some evidence that, in general, viruses on surfaces die more quickly when exposed directly to sunlight. But we don’t know how much or how long they have to be exposed for UV light to have an effect.
And again, this is only about infected objects and surfaces – not about what happens once the virus is inside your body.
By the time the virus has taken hold inside your body, no amount of UV light on your skin is going to make a difference.
‘UV radiation and high heat are known to kill virus particles on surfaces,’ says Dr. Penny Ward, visiting professor in pharmaceutical medicine at Kings College London. But ‘neither sitting in the sun, nor heating, will kill a virus replicating in an individual patient’s internal organs.’”
Yes, Donald Trump – the so-called President of the United States – is that stupid. People like him are the reason why we have warning labels on everything.
Speaking of which, for my From Snark to Finish segment this week, I’m going to read off some actual warning labels and then predict what it was Donald Trump said which prompted the labels in the first place.
Warning Label: “Do not hold the wrong end of a chainsaw.”
Trump: “Look, maybe only 1 in 5 dentists recommend this, but I’m that one dentist, and I know more about teeth than even those teeth-people do, whatever they’re called. Toothbrushes are for pansies. If you really want to get your teeth looking nice, use this. Either end. A chainsaw. You’ll never be seen in the same way again.”
Warning Label: “Never use a lit match or open flame to check fuel level.”
Trump: “You know how the saying goes, ‘Don’t add fuel to the fire’? That may be true, but you always add lighters to the fuel. Or is it ‘where there’s fuel there’s fire’? Whatever it is, the fact of the matter is you can’t have fuel without matches. That’s just basic math right there.”
Warning Label: “Do not drive with sun shield in place.”
Trump: “If it’s a really sunny day and you’re having trouble seeing the road while driving, sure, sunglasses might help a little bit, but some people tell me an even better way to block the sun and see the road better is to put a sun shield on your front windshield shield thingy. I think that’s the technical term. Anyway, I hear it makes the road so easy to see, it’s like you’re looking at nothing at all. …and I know this is true. My great, very close friend, Frederick Douglass told me this just last week.”
Warning Label: “Do not put any person in this washer.”
Trump: “If there’s one thing you ought to know about me, it’s this – I’m the best father in the history of the world. Nobody fathers like I do, okay? Case on point – when they were growing up, if we were running behind and had somewhere to be, we turned the water on cold, extra rinse, and placed Eric in the washer. Worked every time.”
Warning Label: “This costume does not enable flight or super strength.”
Trump: “Bats fly, right? …and robins? They fly too? So it doesn’t really matter which one I wear for Halloween, I’ll be able to fly? Like, bigly fly? Okay, let’s do this. This is what costumes and 3rd stories are for. Lois, I’m comin’!”
That’s it for today’s episode. I’ll see you again next week. Until then, you can check me out on Podbean, Twitter, Amazon, and Blogger. This has been I Feel Snitty with Craig Rozniecki. Take care.
Episode 44: Have a problem? Put some Clorox on it.
Premiere Date: 4/27/20
Length: 8:14 (1,278 words)
Link: https://ifeelsnitty.podbean.com/e/have-a-problem-put-some-clorox-on-it/
Transcript:
Welcome to I Feel Snitty, episode 44, entitled, “Have a problem? Put some Clorox on it.” I’m your host, Craig Rozniecki.
It finally happened. At long last, it finally happened. Donald Trump has stopped giving his daily coronavirus press briefings. Why, you ask? Because of the incredible backlash he’s received, from anyone with even a shred of humanity, regarding his recent medical advice. He’s since attempted to excuse his idiocy as sarcasm, but I’m not sure that’s much better, for he’s either calling himself a schmuck or the worst joke-teller in recorded history. Before I go any further, here’s his full quote:
“So I asked Bill a question some of you are thinking of if you’re into that world, which I find to be pretty interesting. So, supposing we hit the body with a tremendous, whether its ultraviolet or just very powerful light, and I think you said, that hasn’t been checked but you’re gonna test it. And then I said, supposing it brought the light inside the body, which you can either do either through the skin or some other way, and I think you said you’re gonna test that too, sounds interesting. And I then I see the disinfectant, where it knocks it out in one minute, and is there a way you can do something like that by injection inside, or almost a cleaning. Because you see it gets in the lungs, and it does a tremendous number on the lungs. So it’d be interesting to check that. So you’re going to have to use medical doctors, but it sounds interesting to me, so we’ll see. But the whole concept of the light, the way it goes in one minute, that’s pretty powerful.”
So yeah, he was being sarcastic. He was about as sarcastic as Lassie was an elephant. Even just the thought of him being sarcastic at this time is despicable, and this is coming from someone who’s been nicknamed “the king of snark” on Twitter a time or 50. The country is in a panic due to a worldwide pandemic and the President of the United States decides it’s the right time to give sarcastic medical advice? :: cough :: Asshole. :: cough ::. Sorry, I had something caught in my throat. Where was I? Ah, yes, there’s no chance in hell Donald Trump was being sarcastic. The guy doesn’t know what sarcasm entails. He thinks deadpan means a kitchen pan which has just been infected with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. You need some semblance of intelligence to be able to both understand and successfully project sarcasm, and yeah, Trump possesses about as much intelligence as literal bitches possess penises.
So knowing full well Trump wasn’t being sarcastic, let’s fact-check Trump’s ridiculous medical advice. The following information comes courtesy of the BBC News Reality Check Team.
When it comes to the disinfectants suggestion, the BBC Reality Check Team wrote this:
“Using a disinfectant can kill viruses on surfaces, but this is crucially only about infected objects and surfaces – not about what happens once the virus is inside your body.
Not only does consuming or injecting disinfectant risk poisoning and death, it’s not even likely to be effective.
Doctors have appealed to people not to ingest or inject disinfectant, as there are concerns people will think this is a good idea and die.
‘Injecting bleach or disinfectant at the dose required to neutralize viruses in the circulating blood would likely result in significant, irreversible harm and probably a very unpleasant death,’ says Rob Chilcott, professor of toxicology at the University of Hertfordshire.’
He adds that it would also ‘not have much effect on viral particles within the cells.’
Reckitt Benckiser, a leading manufacturer of disinfectant products including Lysol, has issued a statement in response to the president’s comments. It said: ‘We must be clear that under no circumstance should our disinfectant products be administered into the human body (through injection, ingestion or any other route).’”
With regard to Trump’s commentary on light, the fact-checkers wrote this:
“There is some evidence that, in general, viruses on surfaces die more quickly when exposed directly to sunlight. But we don’t know how much or how long they have to be exposed for UV light to have an effect.
And again, this is only about infected objects and surfaces – not about what happens once the virus is inside your body.
By the time the virus has taken hold inside your body, no amount of UV light on your skin is going to make a difference.
‘UV radiation and high heat are known to kill virus particles on surfaces,’ says Dr. Penny Ward, visiting professor in pharmaceutical medicine at Kings College London. But ‘neither sitting in the sun, nor heating, will kill a virus replicating in an individual patient’s internal organs.’”
Yes, Donald Trump – the so-called President of the United States – is that stupid. People like him are the reason why we have warning labels on everything.
Speaking of which, for my From Snark to Finish segment this week, I’m going to read off some actual warning labels and then predict what it was Donald Trump said which prompted the labels in the first place.
Warning Label: “Do not hold the wrong end of a chainsaw.”
Trump: “Look, maybe only 1 in 5 dentists recommend this, but I’m that one dentist, and I know more about teeth than even those teeth-people do, whatever they’re called. Toothbrushes are for pansies. If you really want to get your teeth looking nice, use this. Either end. A chainsaw. You’ll never be seen in the same way again.”
Warning Label: “Never use a lit match or open flame to check fuel level.”
Trump: “You know how the saying goes, ‘Don’t add fuel to the fire’? That may be true, but you always add lighters to the fuel. Or is it ‘where there’s fuel there’s fire’? Whatever it is, the fact of the matter is you can’t have fuel without matches. That’s just basic math right there.”
Warning Label: “Do not drive with sun shield in place.”
Trump: “If it’s a really sunny day and you’re having trouble seeing the road while driving, sure, sunglasses might help a little bit, but some people tell me an even better way to block the sun and see the road better is to put a sun shield on your front windshield shield thingy. I think that’s the technical term. Anyway, I hear it makes the road so easy to see, it’s like you’re looking at nothing at all. …and I know this is true. My great, very close friend, Frederick Douglass told me this just last week.”
Warning Label: “Do not put any person in this washer.”
Trump: “If there’s one thing you ought to know about me, it’s this – I’m the best father in the history of the world. Nobody fathers like I do, okay? Case on point – when they were growing up, if we were running behind and had somewhere to be, we turned the water on cold, extra rinse, and placed Eric in the washer. Worked every time.”
Warning Label: “This costume does not enable flight or super strength.”
Trump: “Bats fly, right? …and robins? They fly too? So it doesn’t really matter which one I wear for Halloween, I’ll be able to fly? Like, bigly fly? Okay, let’s do this. This is what costumes and 3rd stories are for. Lois, I’m comin’!”
That’s it for today’s episode. I’ll see you again next week. Until then, you can check me out on Podbean, Twitter, Amazon, and Blogger. This has been I Feel Snitty with Craig Rozniecki. Take care.
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