The Trump White House has made it a top priority to cut away anything which has even the most minor association with diversity – going so far as to flag a photo of the World War II aircraft, Enola Gay – named after the mother of the plane’s pilot, Colonel Paul Tibbets. Why? Because his mother’s name had “Gay” in it. Given that indescribably insane level of ludicrousness, here’s what I predict Trump and company will do next to kill DEI.
10. A middle finger will be added to the Statue of Liberty.
9. Due to the original term sounding similar to the ‘Koran’/’Quran,’ kids will now color with ‘crayoffs.’
8. It will be mandated for all welcome mats to say, “F*ck Off!”
7. Mother’s Day shall now be known as Daughter- and/or Son-of-a-B*tch Day
6. Discontinue Mountain Dew, since ‘Dew’ rhymes with ‘Jew.’
5. Journalists will get deported if they don’t refer to the Great Wall of China as the Greatest Wall of America.
4. Dishes at Mexican restaurants will need to be masculine in form, and the following words will be randomly added: ‘illegal,’ ‘drug-dealer,’ ‘rapist,’ or ‘alien.’ This will result in a meal being called an Illegal Enchilado, Drug-Dealer Quesadillo, Rapist Fajito, or Alien Dorito.
3. Change the names of ‘white’ and ‘black’ markers to ‘right’ and ‘wrong.’
2. ‘Bicycles’ will officially be called ‘Heels on Wheels.’
1. (drumroll) On world maps sold in the United States, the Greek island of Lesbos will be labeled as ‘Just a Phase.’
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