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Trump's positive news briefings

It was reported three weeks ago that, twice a day, President Donald Trump is presented with a packet of papers which, wait for it, present him in a positive light. These papers include positive: Cable news chyrons, tweets, TV interview transcripts, stories, pictures, etc. Outside of tweeting nonsensical things, this is how the president starts his day. Ironically enough, with Trump's approval rating in the 30s, these positive references are becoming harder to come by. In fact, they're becoming so rare, I have to wonder if members of Trump's inner-circle aren't making up said stories, or at the very least, editing negative headlines to make them come across as positive. Here's how I envision the titles of some of these positive papers:

- "You were very handsome at one point in your life." - One of your three wives or many mistresses

- "People who say you're a liar don't know the real you. You once told me your name was Donald Trump. That was true." - Anonymous

- Headline: "Trump's approval drops to 30%"

  Revision: "President Trump's presidential approval is 30% higher than any one else"

- Headline: "Trump breaks promise"

  Revision: "Trump never pinky-swore for promise"

- "That thing on your head still looks pretty good!" - Dick Cheney after mistakenly shooting a friend who he felt looked like a rat

- "ur da smertest prez eva @realDonaldTrump" - @DoomAss1

- "Hey, at least you didn't grab me!" - a pussycat

- "Obama's birth certificate is a fake! I have proof!" - @FullOfBiglyCrap

- "You've got bigger hands than me!" - Little Timmy

- Headline: "Trump sued for $250 million"

  Revision: "Trump has more than enough money to pay off lawsuit"

https://news.vice.com/story/trump-folder-positive-news-white-house
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