What I learned in Week 4 of the NFL season

In Week 4 of the NFL season, I learned that...

- ...the Tennessee Titans are likely on their way to Walter Reed to ask for another Music City Miracle.

- ...the Dallas Cowboys defense is so bad, it's now being nicknamed Congress.

- ..., with the Houston Texans giving up points like 1% coupons and canning head coach Bill O'Brien as a result, it's being speculated he could get hired as Donald Trump's new Secretary of Defense.

- ..., if there were an NFC Least, it would be better than the NFC East.

- ..., if the Winnipeg Jets hockey team were to square off against the New York Jets on the gridiron, while wearing ice skates, Vegas odds would have them at even.

- ...with Cam Newton coming down with Coronavirus, we will finally be able to answer the question, "Can Bill Belichick defeat COVID?"

- ...rookie Los Angeles Chargers quarterback Justin Herbert nearly going score for score with 43-year-old Tom Brady was the most exciting thing to watch since a college punk nicknamed Shrinkage challenged George Foreman to a bout at a nursing home.

- ...Mike McCarthy coaches like he hasn't coached in a couple years. Oh, I'm being told that's actually the case. Carry on.

- ..., when asked about the smartest decision he ever made, Tom Coughlin likely said, "'Resigning' as head coach of the New York Giants."

- ...Ryan Fitzpatrick is proof gnomes know three things: beards, Ivy League education, and football.