I've known many people I could describe as being conflict-avoidant. This includes: Friends, family, exes, even myself a few years ago. Granted, I don't know too many people whom would ever stand up and proudly declare, "You know what I love more than anything else? Nope, not football, not beer, not pizza. I love conflicts!" However, what many conflict-avoidant individuals don't seem to realize is that by avoiding conflicts to avoid stress and drama, they're making the situation more stressful for themselves, and as the tension escalates over time, when the conflict is finally confronted, the stress and drama may be at such a boiling point that it will be virtually impossible to fully resolve the conflict. Conflict-avoidance is not the same as conflict-resolution. In fact, by being conflict-avoidant, one is essentially avoiding resolution.
When one sits down and thinks about it, it's all fairly common sense. It's like with personal problems. If one doesn't admit they have a problem, say with smoking, how will they then get over said problem? As it's always been said, the first step to solving a problem is admitting one exists. The same is true when it comes to conflicts regarding two or more people. If someone doesn't admit the problem out in the open with the other present, how will the two solve said problem?
I know one may think it's "easier" to keep these conflicts and confrontations bottled up so the other(s) doesn't (don't) know about them and to avoid potential drama. However, just because this person doesn't admit what's on his or her mind to the other doesn't make the problem go away. It will still linger in their mind. They'll continue to worry about the issue, with the level of worry likely escalating as time progresses, and this will result in added stress for the person. It then often times reaches a point where the conflict-avoidant individual can't bottle things up any longer, and since they've wanted to talk about matters for such a long time and their stress and worry have escalated as a result, they essentially blow up at the person. This results in a higher level of drama than would have occurred had the person been confronted on the matter at an earlier point. What may have once been a potentially small conflict and confrontation blows up into a conflict and confrontation so large, it is often times difficult for the people involved in it to fully recover.
So, when it comes to conflicts and confrontations, I know they're not fun, but when such a situation arises, try not to think of it as causing drama by admitting a problem exists. Try to think of it as discussing a matter with a person (you likely care about) in order to solve a problem and improve the relationship. The relationship will be stuck through conflict-avoidance. It will only progress if the people are fully honest with one another and attempt resolve any conflicts which may exist.
When one sits down and thinks about it, it's all fairly common sense. It's like with personal problems. If one doesn't admit they have a problem, say with smoking, how will they then get over said problem? As it's always been said, the first step to solving a problem is admitting one exists. The same is true when it comes to conflicts regarding two or more people. If someone doesn't admit the problem out in the open with the other present, how will the two solve said problem?
I know one may think it's "easier" to keep these conflicts and confrontations bottled up so the other(s) doesn't (don't) know about them and to avoid potential drama. However, just because this person doesn't admit what's on his or her mind to the other doesn't make the problem go away. It will still linger in their mind. They'll continue to worry about the issue, with the level of worry likely escalating as time progresses, and this will result in added stress for the person. It then often times reaches a point where the conflict-avoidant individual can't bottle things up any longer, and since they've wanted to talk about matters for such a long time and their stress and worry have escalated as a result, they essentially blow up at the person. This results in a higher level of drama than would have occurred had the person been confronted on the matter at an earlier point. What may have once been a potentially small conflict and confrontation blows up into a conflict and confrontation so large, it is often times difficult for the people involved in it to fully recover.
So, when it comes to conflicts and confrontations, I know they're not fun, but when such a situation arises, try not to think of it as causing drama by admitting a problem exists. Try to think of it as discussing a matter with a person (you likely care about) in order to solve a problem and improve the relationship. The relationship will be stuck through conflict-avoidance. It will only progress if the people are fully honest with one another and attempt resolve any conflicts which may exist.
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