In Week 6 of the NFL season, I learned that...
- ...Odell Beckham, Jr. thought The Naked Gun was a documentary and heard Lieutenant Frank Drebin say in a scene, "You take a chance getting up in the morning, crossing the street, or sticking your hands in a fan."
- ..., in England, Derek Carr and the Oakland Raiders look like a bunch of bloody wankers.
- ...100% of end-zone celebrators think they can dance and 95% of them are wrong.
- ...there are times Houston Texans quarterback Deshaun Watson holds onto the ball longer than David Duke hangs onto his wallet and hood at a Dollar Store in Harlem.
- ...RPO (Run Pass Option) doesn't stand for Righteous Pure Orgy.
- ...pulling anyone but the quarterback's hair is perfectly acceptable. Pulling on the quarterback's hair, however, typically results in a minimum of a 15-day sentence, a $1.5 million fine, 150 hours of community service, and a permanent banishment from the league. If the same individual gets convicted of domestic violence, however, they'll automatically be reinstated.
- ..., due to the star Los Angeles Rams running back, it will now be seen as a compliment to be told "you run like a (Todd) Gurley!"
- ...the fade route is less successful than shooting a basketball underhanded from half-court while blindfolded after doing three three wise-men shots.
- ...ESPN's QBR stat is about as reliable as Rip Van Winkle working a night shift and about as accurate as a smoking study conducted by a "scientist" at the Tobacco Industry who goes by the name of Smoky.
- ..., after his playing career is done, Jacksonville Jaguars quarterback Blake Bortles will inevitably become a mall Santa, for he's used to handing out presents 24/7.
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