What I learned in Week 12 of the NFL season

In Week 12 of the NFL season, I learned that...

- ...it is possible for your entire team to come down with Coronavirus and be the happier brother on Thanksgiving (John Harbaugh, compared to Jim).

- ...if you're blind, in a wheelchair, but have one functioning arm, you could be the next quarterback for the Denver Broncos.

- ..., if Los Angeles Chargers head coach Anthony Lynn's concept of time were any worse, he'd work at a cable company.

- ...taking a knee will likely mark the beginning and end of the marriage between Matthew Stafford and his wife, Kelly.

- ...the New York Jets are so bad, those seven words will soon replace yo-mama-is-so-fat jokes.

- ..., at the rate they're going, the Baltimore Ravens and Pittsburgh Steelers' New Year's resolution will be to play the game which was originally scheduled for Thanksgiving.

- ...the pencils behind the ears of Matt Patricia will finally come in handy - as he will soon be signing unemployment checks.

- ..., if Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon were still around, chances are they'd be working on a film called "The Old Couple," where they played the parts of Bruce Arians and Tom Brady.

- ..., given all of the severe injuries and COVID-related setbacks, the popular online game this year should be referred to as "Nobody's Fantasy Football."

- ..., given what's transpired since, it seems increasingly likely that New Orleans Saints head coach Sean Payton is the Curse of Antonio Brown's agent and sent him to NFC South rival Tampa.