The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

As long-time readers know, I've put forth a great deal of time and effort in attempting to garner recognition for my writing/satire. It's been an incredibly gradual, sometimes frustrating process, but I've definitely taken some positive steps toward my goal(s). Just this morning, for example, I discovered I've broken the top 100 of Columbus, Ohio Twitter users when it comes to number of followers (https://compute.info/rank/twitter/columbus): 1) Cory Gregory: 695,459 2) Skip Prichard: 396,553 3) Urban Meyer: 387,654 4) Top Ten Percent: 374,981 5) Ohio State Buckeyes: 343,528 6) Tech Decade: 318,517 7) Bath & Body Works: 286,125 8) NHL Blue Jackets: 270,067 9) Ezekiel Elliott: 265,219 10) Ohio State Buckeyes (yes, again): 254,380 13) Ohio State Football: 222,011 16) Trey Burke: 181,142 18) 10TV.com: 176,600 19) Ohio State: 176,085 25) Brutus Buckeye: 125,220 33) Columbus Crew SC: 99,161 35) Arnold Sports: 93,384 38) NBC4 Columbus: 89,629 39) Columb...

I may not be a die-hard fan of films based off comic books, as I was never big into comics, yet I've still found most of them to be entertaining, especially in the Batman and Superman series'. When I first saw the trailer to the new Batman v Superman film, however, I immediately thought, "You've got to be f***ing kidding me!" Chances are this film is going to do spectacularly at the box office and that I'm in the minority on this, but I find the premise of Batman v Superman to be so ridiculous, it makes Ant-Man look like Apollo 13 . My first question is, "Why?" Why is there a need for two superheroes to battle against one another? Is it to fulfill some sort of childhood fantasy, along the same lines of, "My dad is stronger than your dad!" "Nuh uh!"? Is it simply a steroid-induced pissing contest cast by immature adult males? Are we going to continue this premise with these future films? - He-Man v Spider-man - Jesus v Buddha...

The Top Ten Things Donald Trump's Ex-Wives Have Found Themselves Thinking During His Campaign 10. "For as many times as he kicked me out, I wonder if he thought I was one of 'the blacks'!" 9. "I wonder if he'll deport wife #3..." 8. "Ah, yes, that's why I left him. ...and that. As well as that... ...and that too..." 7. "Not even five seconds into his speech and I can already tell he forgot to take his pills today!" 6. "This reminds me of the time I asked him if he took the trash out and he started talking about banging his daughter, before going on tangents regarding: Guinness Book of World Records concerning rubberbands, going to a shooting range with a squirt gun, 101 reasons why the word 'awesome' only applies to him, and potential life on Uranus." 5. "The man seeks attention more than my friend's dog, Needy!" 4. "I don't know what he's been smoking, bu...

As is the case once a month or so, I had fun with a Twitter hashtag yesterday. The trending hashtag was #LetsBlamePOTUSForThisToo, so I tweeted 26 sarcastic tweets in response. Here they are, in order from the most to the least popular (all my tweets can be viewed here - https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki): 1) Puppy Monkey Baby #LetsBlamePOTUSForThisToo 78 Likes, 21 Retweets 2) Nickelback #LetsBlamePOTUSForThisToo 55 Likes, 22 Retweets 3) Ronald Reagan's 381 executive orders #LetsBlamePOTUSForThisToo 14 Likes, 7 Retweets 4) Failed Apocalypse/Second Coming predictions #LetsBlamePOTUSForThisToo 14 Likes, 6 Retweets 5) Donald Trump's "hair" #LetsBlamePOTUSForThisToo 12 Likes, 5 Retweets 6) Donald Trump's small "hands" #LetsBlamePOTUSForThisToo 11 Likes, 4 Retweets 7) The dog ate my homework. #LetsBlamePOTUSForThisToo 11 Likes, 3 Retweets 8) That crazy uncle #LetsBlamePOTUSForThisToo 12 Likes, 1 Retweet 9) "He went to J...

While I normally can't stand cable news networks, I'm hooked during election season. This morning, unfortunately, that resulted in me seeing a painful interview on MSNBC's Live with Tamron Hall  between host Tamron Hall and pastor and Donald Trump supporter, Darrell Scott. Here are a few of the highlights (or lowlights depending on how you look at it): - "Inciting (violence)? No, because you don't see Donald Trump supporters fighting each other." - Denied 78-year-old Trump supporter (John McGraw), who sucker-punched an African-American protester as he was walking out of a Trump rally, (before later un-denying it), was actually a Trump supporter, adding, "If he had punched a white man, we wouldn't have had the controversy." - Compared the Trump rally (a white man punching a black man) to a Katt Williams show where a black man stomped on another black man - "If I hear that, I don't throw a tomato. Why would you throw a tomato anywa...

Here's the URL to my Facebook business page. I update it fairly regularly, but still haven't put forth a great deal of effort yet in researching matters and attempting to make the most out of it. In any case, it can be perused here: http://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki?ref=hl Up next is my Twitter page. I'm still not 100% certain what I'm doing on there yet, but feel I'm gradually getting the hang of it and am up to 34,424 followers. I update it daily with many of my own tweets, but also by retweeting some others'. It can be found here: https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki Lastly, here's my Tumblr page, which I've neglected quite a bit recently, but if you're at all curious, you can find it at the following link: http://www.tumblr.com/blog/rozzy81

For new readers (and regular ones, I suppose), here's some information pertaining to my books. All twelve of my books can be purchased in paperback form at the following site (and others): http://www.lulu.com/shop/search.ep?type=&keyWords=craig+rozniecki&x=7&y=5&sitesearch=lulu.com&q= The ten books I've written and released in the past 4 years (yes, I've been on a roll) can be purchased for much cheaper in Kindle form at the following link: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_22?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=craig%20rozniecki%20kindle&sprefix=craig+rozniecki+kindle%2Caps%2C228&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Acraig%20rozniecki%20kindle

Following a Nazi rally in Looneyville, Texas this past Saturday, where several fights broke out between Nazi supporters and Jewish protesters, which left 12 injured and hundreds with IQs in the single digits, GOP presidential frontrunner Donald Trump said the following about the matter:  "This is about two things really: 1) The First Amendment and 2) The biased lamestream media. The Jews at the rally are thugs, plain and simple. They were trying to take away Nazis' free speech with their protests! They need to take their anti-free speech ideas and shut up about them already! Seriously... Oh, and don't believe what the lamestream media is feeding you about this whole thing. They want you to believe these Nazi rallies are violent, that the people who go to these things are angry people, and that many often get hurt at these things, but that's not true; that's not true at all. If anything, these Nazi rallies are love-fests. Everyone here loves each other, well, unt...

Following the recent Donald Trump rallies which have resulted in one cancellation and potential multiple criminal charges (against both Trump supporters and protesters), Florida Senator Marco Rubio, while laying some of the blame on the GOP frontrunner's rhetoric, as well as the protesters, also claimed that President Obama is partially to blame. He's not the first Republican politician to suggest this, for many have come forward and laid claim that Obama is the most divisive president in this country's history - some even blaming him for the rise of Donald Trump. I'm sorry, but the GOP calling President Obama divisive is so ironic Alanis Morissette is currently rewriting her hit song to reflect Rubio and many other GOPers' sentiments on the subject. Republican politicians can believe all they'd like that President Obama is divisive, but let's look back at Obama's tenure before casting him as such, shall we? - When he was elected in 2008, the GOP ...

As I pointed out in a blog yesterday, multiple parties deserve at least some of the blame for the escalated tension and violence at Donald Trump rallies, including: The media (5% of the blame), the protesters (10% of the blame), and Trump supporters (10% of the blame). However, no matter what the current GOP frontrunner wants to believe, a large majority of the blame is with him and his rhetoric (75% of the blame). Based on Trump's commentary following recent protests at his rallies, which have resulted in one cancellation and potential multiple criminal charges (on both Trump supporters and protesters), he appears to be quite confused on the concept of cause and effect. He has yet to bear any responsibility for the escalated tension, anger, and violence at his rallies, instead fully blaming the protesters. Just from a chronological standpoint, how does that work exactly? According to Donald Trump Cause: Protesters respond to his angry rhetoric Effect: His angry rhetoric whi...

In light of the protests at a Donald Trump rally in Chicago, Illinois last night, which resulted in Trump cancelling the event, many politicians and media personalities have been partaking in the blame game. Liberals have tended to place the brunt of the blame on Donald Trump's rhetoric and, to a lesser degree, his supporters. Conservatives have tended to place equal blame on Trump's rhetoric and the protesters' responses. Donald Trump and his supporters, meanwhile, have tended to place the full blame on the protesters, the media, Bernie Sanders, Hillary Clinton, and even Barack Obama. So, let's take a closer look at the matter... Barack Obama : How in the world can the president be blamed for the anger, violence, hate, divisiveness, and protests exhibited at many of Donald Trump's rallies? Did he help spread the hundreds of lies about him on social media, especially in the form of chain emails? Did he lead the charge in spreading the myth that he's not eligib...

It cracks me up to hear GOP frontrunner Donald Trump label President Obama as divisive. That declaration has to be a finalist for Most Ironic Statement of the Year, and we're only in March. Just today, I heard Trump speaking at a rally in Dayton, Ohio, where he said, "President Obama is so so divisive. I'm a unifier, a uniter, and he's a divider." I'm sorry, but what kind of drugs is this man taking? Whatever they are, remind me to never consume them. During his campaign, Donald Trump has insulted the following groups/individuals: Muslims, Mexicans, Jews, women, blacks, Asians, veterans, the disabled, protesters, the media, moderators, all of his Republican and Democratic opponents, fact-checkers, etc. Given his offensive, divisive rhetoric, it makes it seem as though Trump made a bet with 2012 GOP nominee Mitt Romney. Trump: "So, like, uh, you know you lost the election because you offended 47% of the voters with your taxpayers-moochers comment, ri...

I read the following conservative parable via a Facebook post last night and felt the need to comment on it. Before my commentary, here's the post in its entirety: "Recently, while I was working cuttin trees in the front yard, my neighbors stopped to chat as they returned home from walking their dog. During our friendly conversation, I asked their little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there so I asked her, 'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?' She replied... 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.' Her parents beamed with pride! 'Wow... what a worthy goal' I said. 'But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that!' I told her. 'What do you mean?' she replied. So I told her, 'You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and trim my hedges...

Was this the final GOP debate? That's unlikely, but in any case, for the 12th time this primary season, I had a load of fun live-tweeting during the proceedings. Here are the 31 tweets I came up with during those two hours, listed from the most to the least popular (all of my tweets can be viewed here - https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki): 1) Trump: "After I've insulted: Muslims, Jews, Mexicans, blacks, women, the disabled, veterans, etc., we all need to unify, people!" #GOPDebate 77 Likes, 64 Retweets 2) Cruz: "It's basic math, folks. God Ronald Reagan passed only 381 executive orders, but King Obama passed 231! 231! 231 > 381!" #GOPDebate 74 Likes, 62 Retweets 3) CNN: "Did you do anything to encourage the violence at your rallies?" Trump: "I hope not, but anyway, I love cops." #GOPDebate 51 Likes, 38 Retweets 4) Cruz: "I will repeal Obamacare on day 1! Less healthcare and more guns makes for a better, safer, h...

I was fortunate enough to catch up with Denile High School basketball coach Marco Rubio at halftime of his team's homecoming game, where they found themselves down by 30. When inquiring about why his team was down by so much and what they needed to do in the second half to reverse their fortune, here's what he told me: "Look, this is kind of what we expected all along. Even before tipoff, we were all talking about how, no matter what happened before it, an early 3-pointer in the second half would be all we needed to get back into the game and start thinking about winning. Just think about it, if we get the first basket in the second half and it's a 3-pointer, we go from being down 30 to just 27, and it becomes a whole new ball game. That might sound ridiculous to some people, but the speech I'm going to use at halftime is going to motivate these kids to do something special in the second half; it'll make them believe we can do this; and it's going to happ...

"My friend asked me a long, long time ago to give his eulogy when he passed, so that's why I'm here today. I loved my friend. We all did; I mean, that's why we're here, right? Yeah, so my friend, uh, whatever his name was, let me tell you why this guy wanted me to speak to all of you about him today. The fact of the matter is, I'm the world's best speaker. If you want a great eulogy, I'll give the best one - guaranteed! That's just how it is, folks. I know the best words; I don't hold back from saying these words; and I tie them together almost like that poet Alan Alda Poe, where it becomes like a thing of beauty. My eulogy may not be as beautiful as my daughter Ivanka, but like her, if I weren't the eulogy's father, I'd want to bang it too. I saw everyone's reaction right there. You all got goosebumps right then, didn't you? You see? I always seem to affect people with what I say. I remember one time I was talking to some ki...

Republican Alabama lawmaker Steve Hurst has recently proposed a bill which would require certain sex offenders to pay for their own (surgical) castration before being released from prison. Hurst elaborated on the matter, saying, "I've often wondered what that child went through, physically and mentally, and what kind of shape he's in now. They (sex offenders) have marked these children for life. They will never get over it. And if they've marked children for life, they need to be marked for life." Founder of a sexual disorders clinic at John Hopkins University, Dr. Frederick Berlin, came out against the measure, saying, "There are many sex offenders who aren't driven by intense sexual urges. Some of these folks have other mental health issues, so it could just lull us into a false sense of security." He added: "Just to do it as a one-glove-fits-all is very unlikely to be helpful. I do think there is a role for medicines that lower sexual d...

One reason I'm fascinated by politics is because I'm fascinated by people, numbers, geography, and trends. I find it interesting to read about numerous demographics from all around the country, to discover how they're voting, if there are any trends to the voting, what those trends are and how long they've been present (if at all), etc. With this most recent election cycle, I've been most intrigued by: The Trump phenomenon, the potential for greater Republican enthusiasm in the presidential election, the potential for greater Democratic enthusiasm in Congressional elections, establishment vs. non-establishment candidates, and voter priorities. Something else that's caught my interest is Hillary Clinton's image according to the general public, when it comes to her level of trustworthiness in particular. Perhaps it's largely due to the Benghazi attacks and the email "scandal," but in any case, the general public does not see Democratic frontrun...

As ardent readers of mine should know by now, I am in no way, shape, or form a supporter of Republican frontrunner Donald Trump. He comes across as arrogant, angry, greedy, delusional, ill-informed, racist, sexist, xenophobic, and dangerous. If this man gets elected president, I think it would place the United States in a bad spot, both domestically and internationally. He'd further divide this country, which is saying something considering how divided we are already. We'd likely suffer economically, environmentally, educationally, and militarily. I will do anything and everything (within reason) to make certain this man doesn't get elected president. In saying all of that, however, Donald Trump is not Adolf Hitler as some have suggested. Over the past week, Mexican presidents (past and present), comedians, conservative and liberal columnists, not to mention Democratic and Republican politicians have compared Donald Trump to Adolf Hitler, noting his tone and gestures amon...

Here's the URL to my Facebook business page. I update it fairly regularly, but still haven't put forth a great deal of effort yet in researching matters and attempting to make the most out of it. In any case, it can be perused here: http://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki?ref=hl Up next is my Twitter page. I'm still not 100% certain what I'm doing on there yet, but feel I'm gradually getting the hang of it and am up to 34,070 followers. I update it daily with many of my own tweets, but also by retweeting some others'. It can be found here: https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki Lastly, here's my Tumblr page, which I've neglected quite a bit recently, but if you're at all curious, you can find it at the following link: http://www.tumblr.com/blog/rozzy81