Santorum insinuates that liberals talk about abortion while showering

As seems to be typical, Rick Santorum had some interesting choice words recently when giving a speech to the anti-abortion group Students for Life.

During this speech, Santorum said the following:

"They (pro-choice liberals) make it uncomfortable for students who come to Austin to shower at a Young Men's Christian Association, YMCA, gym, because they live it. They're passionate, they're willing to do and say uncomfortable things in mixed company. They're willing to make the sacrifice at their business because they care enough."

Either Santorum has been to some unusual showers and gyms, the man is full of garbage, or he's doing shrooms again. I'm going to guess it's either the second or third option, but am leaning toward the second. When reading this quote by Santorum, I was greeted with these lovely visuals:

Setting: Students in Austin showering at a Young Men's Christian Association

Heath Greatness: "Jesus loves me, this I know..."

Sherlock High: "For the Bible tells me so..."

Paul Altar: "Yes, Jesus loves me..."

Heath: "You skipped a part, Paul."

Paul: "Sorry about that. I got some soap in my eyes again. Why do I keep on doing that?"

Sherlock: "I'll pray for you, Paul."

Paul: "Thanks. I appreciate it."

Tyrell Ninja: "I love abortion."

Heath, Sherlock, and Paul: ::silence::

Tyrell: "Are you guys still there? You don't need to answer that. I know you are. I'm not even showering, since I'm fully clothed, and am just watching you guys. So, did you guys hear me?"

Heath, Sherlock, and Paul: ::silence::

Tyrell: "I'll take that as a yes. Hey, it's a woman's body and her choice. None of us have vaginas. Why should we be making that choice for them?"

Heath, Sherlock, and Paul: ::run away, screaming, "We'll pray for you!"::

Tyrell: "Ha! I tell ya, there's nothing a straight man likes more than to talk about abortion with a bunch of naked dudes in a shower."

Setting: Guys playing basketball in a gym

Michael Boredom: "Pass it! I'm open! I'm open!"

Larry Curd: "You've been open all game! You suck!"

Michael: "Oh, shutup! I'm just having an off-game."

Bill Pampier: "So, are you gonna take it to the rim or not, Larry? I'll even give you a lane to make your move. Are you ready?"

Larry: "Oh, you're going to do that, are you? You'll regret it!"

Bill: "Crap! Well, you got lucky that time."

Larry: "I've been getting lucky all game apparently."

Dennis Hodgeman: "So, my girlfriend had an abortion last night. We know some people will judge us, but believe it's our right - especially her's - to make that choice."

Bill: "What the hell, Dennis? We're just talking trash and playing basketball over here!"

Dennis: "Whatever. Every time I get a rebound, I'm going to yell out, 'abortion!' Like it or not, that's what I'm gonna do!"

Bill: "Fine then. You're on my team and I'm not going to let you get any rebounds. What do you think about that?"

Michael: "Hey, Larry, what's going on here? Are we playing against these two and they're playing against each other?"

Larry: "It looks that way. Here, I'll even pass the ball to you this time. You should be able to make that easy lay-up."

Dennis: ::rebounds the ball:: "Abortion! Ha-ha! Yeah!"

Bill: "Oh, you're going to get it!"

Dennis: ::runs around with the ball:: "Abortion! Abortion! Abortion! You can't catch me! Abortion!"

Yeah, Mr. Santorum may want to go to new showers or gyms - that or come up with yet another crazy story. I have no doubt that he will.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/07/rick-santorum-showers_n_3718618.html

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun...

A closer look at the Scramble With Friends power-ups

I am unashamed to admit that I'm a nerd. My idea of a good time is playing a word game like Boggle or Scrabble. Thankfully, I (and many others) can play such games via Facebook and/or my (our) cell phone(s). While it seems that cheating has become more commonplace in these games (Words With Friends in particular) than San Diego has had nice weather, I've yet to give in to that craze. One element present with the game Scramble With Friends (Boggle) not present in Words With Friends (Scrabble) are legal boosts called "power-ups," which cost a number of tokens from the 15 available. I've now tried all five power-ups, including the latest one which costs money. So, in case anyone's curious about playing the game or giving these power-ups a gander, here's a rundown of them all: Freeze - I think this is probably my favorite of all the power-ups. With the freeze, time stands still for a matter of seconds, which allows you more time to find words and improve...

Face guarding is legal in college football and the NFL

I just wanted to remind fans and announcers especially, that face guarding is legal in both college football and the NFL. It all comes down to contact. So long as a defender doesn't make contact with an intended receiver, he doesn't have to turn around to play the ball. I can't tell you how many times every week I hear announcers talk about face guarding being a penalty. It's not. I even heard one announcer yesterday state, "If the defender doesn't turn around and play the ball, the ref will call pass interference every time." That's simply not true. Courtesy of referee Bill LeMonnier, he says this with regard to the rule at the college level (answered on 8/12/13): "NCAA rules on pass interference require the face guarding to have contact to be a foul. No contact, no foul by NCAA rules." In the NFL rule book, this is written: "Actions that constitute defensive pass interference include but are not limited to: (a) Contact by a ...

The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

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