Giving thanks for other people...

In light of the Thanksgiving Day holiday, I thought I'd attempt to speak for others in what I feel they're probably thankful for:

Bo Pelini - the word f**k

Detroit Lions - the Chicago Cubs

Fox News - old people

Donald Trump - Donald Trump

Meteorologists - margins of error

Parents - alcohol

Rob Ford - holidays, weekends, and 5 pm on weekdays

Rush Limbaugh - all-you-can-eat buffets

Hallmark - guilt

Vegetarian Native Americans - nothing pertaining to Thanksgiving