If marriage were like Congress...

I've long said I see Congress to be like a marriage. While Republicans and Democrats may have a differing ideal vision of America and how we reach this ideal, we won't be able to come anywhere close to this ideal without working together. In other words, sacrifices and compromises need to be made to, at the very least, take baby steps forward, if not giant leaps. If one side or the other says no to each and every proposal, unwilling to make any kind of sacrifice or come to any form of compromise, progress will be next to impossible. It's similar to a marriage. The two spouses may have slightly differing ideas on what the perfect marriage or family life is and how to reach that point, but unless the two make some sacrifices along the way and form compromises in the process, the relationship will be all but doomed. Just imagine if a husband and wife behaved the way Congress has been in recent years...

Setting: Mr. and Mrs. Congress' home as they eat dinner in the dining room

Mrs. Congress: "Honey, can you pick up Jr. at school after work tomorrow? His Dungeons & Dragons curling practice ends at 5."

Mr. Congress: "No!"

Mrs. Congress: "Why not?!? I can't get him! I have that job interview I told you about a few days ago!"

Mr. Congress: "Because I don't want to!"

Mrs. Congress: "What?!? You don't think there are times I do things I don't want to do? You think I like cooking for you every night? Cleaning the house once a week? Doing all the dishes and laundry? That weird position you told me about a couple months ago you called 'Frogger on Steroids'? I don't think so!"

Mr. Congress: "What's your point?"

Mrs. Congress: "My point is... Nevermind. I'll just have Uber pick him up again..."

Mr. Congress: "Good"

Mrs. Congress: "Since you won't be picking up Jr. tomorrow and I'll be at the interview, do you think you could at least have something ready to eat by the time I get home? Either cook it yourself or pick it up from somewhere?"

Mr. Congress: "I don't think so."

Mrs. Congress: "Why this time?"

Mr. Congress: "Eh, I just need some relaxation time."

Mrs. Congress: "More?!? You just had a week off for the holidays!"

Mr. Congress: "Yeah, but that's not enough."

Mrs. Congress: "But you're basically retired! ...and are just working part-time!"

Mr. Congress: "So what?"

Mrs. Congress: "Fine... I'll just pick up something on the way back home."

Mr. Congress: "Thanks"

Mrs. Congress: "Well, maybe you can get a head start with cleaning for the weekend then. You know we're having that couples party on Saturday. So could you please help around the house while I'm gone?"

Mr. Congress: "I'd rather not."

Mrs. Congress: "What? What now?"

Mr. Congress: "Some guys I know said that they'd be highly disappointed if a man, like me, cleaned around the house, and they'd forever bully and tease me about it."

Mrs. Congress: "I'm about to bully you right now!"

Mr. Congress: "How come?"

Mrs. Congress: "Because you'll never work with me on anything! I'm like a one man-, I mean, one-woman operation around here! You never compromise!"

Mr. Congress: "Honey?"

Mrs. Congress: "Yes..."

Mr. Congress: "Wanna do that 'Frogger on Steroids' thing again?"

Mrs. Congress: "No!!!"

Mr. Congress: "Geez, Louise, look who's calling who difficult here... Wanna fetch me a beer at least?"

Mrs. Congress: "No!!!"

Mr. Congress: "Alright, fine then, have it your way. I'll get up and grab it myself. It seems like I'm the only one doing any work around here anyway."

Mrs. Congress: "You son of a..."

...and they lived happily ever after, or something...