The responder is often a reflection of the speaker

As I've noted previously, it seems to be increasingly more difficult to engage in civilized discourse with those whom someone disagrees. This may partially be due to the seemingly never-ending stream of hyper-partisan media outlets. However, I also think it's due to a lack of common sense and courtesy. The responder is often a reflection of the speaker, so if the instigator of a conversation comes at it in an angry and aggressive manner, it's common, even natural instinct for the responder to reflect this tone and reply accordingly. Just a couple weeks ago, while in hindsight I know she meant nothing personal by it, a friend of mine got in my face, angrily raised her voice, and spoke in a condescending manner when attempting to broach a subject with me. I tried to keep my cool at first, but was unable to do so after a certain period of time. We worked things out without any problem, but upon thinking about matters more, it reminded me of similar such situations I'd either observed or experienced, and it made me think to myself, "It's no wonder I don't attempt to engage in such conversations very often."

In face-to-face conversations especially, tone and volume are incredibly important. Perhaps if we spoke in a calm tone of voice, didn't use condescending language, made consistent eye contact, asked questions, and actually listened instead of simply awaiting our turn to speak, people with differing viewpoints would be more apt to engaging in civilized discussions. Just a thought... Even the calmest of individuals, when approached by someone who's yelling in their face and using condescending language, can even have problems keeping their cool.