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The State of the Union Address: He Said What?!?

If I had never heard Donald Trump speak before, I would have watched last night's State of the Union address and thought, "Well, this guy is kinda all over the place; his numbers don't completely check out; and he, like a lot of politicians, likes to provoke fear; but I mean, he sounds like just about any other modern-day Republican politician." Unfortunately, I had heard him speak before, so because of that, my thoughts differed.

If I may be blunt, Donald Trump was more all over the place than an ADHD schizophrenic on speed and coke. Whoever wrote his speech doesn't seem to understand the concept of smooth segues/transitions. Here's what Trump sounded like to me:

"Abortion is the murder of little babies. We need a wall. The economy is great. Drug prices are too high. The Iran nuclear deal was a disaster. I like pizza. Bless our troops. We need a wall. Did I mention I liked pizza? Hamberders too, bigly."

There were a number of times I thought my recording of the speech had fast-forwarded, for I was flummoxed by his sudden 180.

As is nearly always the case for Trump, he fudged some of his numbers and took credit for others' work. Donald Trump reminds me of that high school slacker who found a way to join the smart kids in group projects, didn't do anything to positively contribute to said project, ended up with a 100%, and took all the credit for it. That's Donald Trump in a nutshell. He inherited a strong economy, a strong military, an improved healthcare system, a better stock market, increasing confidence and approval from foreign allies and adversaries alike, yet these improvements only happened because of him. People like that drive me nuts. He could have a house built for him. Then right as the construction workers leave the premises, he shows up and tells his neighbors, "Yeah, I built that." Trump called the economy "booming" and took full credit for it. I'm sorry, buddy, but in President Obama's final 23 months on the job, he created approximately 4.8 million jobs, while you've created around 4.5 million in your first 23 months. Not only that, but you inherited those job numbers. Obama inherited the largest recession since the Great Depression. Your job has been easy compared to his, and yet your approval numbers are inferior. That's a difficult task, but you found a way to accomplish it, so congratulations! Trump also bragged about restoring and rebuilding our military to unprecedented numbers, pointing to Obama for the weakening of our military. Even though I disagree with spending more on our military than the next seven countries combined, the facts are the facts, and Obama's budget spent more on our military than Trump's has to this point. The Donald then cherry-picked drugs which have decreased in price when a large majority saw the opposite outcome. He talked about his wall idea like it's the modern-day Chuck Norris meme. Apparently this wall can do everything, from halting drug trafficking to decreasing gun violence to ending cancer. The Vegas oddsmakers even favor this wall to win the Super Bowl next year. It's the darnedest thing...

There were some cringeworthy moments to last night's speech as well. Whenever Donald Trump talks about sexual assault victims, prostitution, supporting our troops, praising women's work, or even loving this country, I feel a knot form at the pit of my stomach. Here's a guy who has been accused by 20+ women of sexual improprieties, including rape. He's allegedly paid hush-money to porn stars and prostitutes after having affairs with them. It's become increasingly clear that he dodged the draft. The guy is notorious for seeing the value in women solely based on their appearance. Not only that, he's done more for Russia than he has for our country.

Trump even made the spotlight on his invited guests discomforting. He once contended that there were some very fine Nazis (aka white nationalists). Last night he hailed a Holocaust survivor. Combine the two statements and Trump essentially said, "Here's a guy who was put in a concentration camp by some very fine people." When the spotlight turned to a little girl fighting cancer, I couldn't help but think about how much time, energy, and effort Trump had spent trying to strip healthcare away from people. The man is a walking hypocrisy and that was on full display last night.

None of these claims or moments stood out as the one a person doesn't forget. There were two such moments for me. The first was when Trump said, "You can't have peace and legislation with war and investigation." Yes, passing effective legislation and being at peace with the world is dependent on Robert Mueller saying with regard to his investigation, "I was just kidding, ya'll. Carry on, carry on..." Oddly enough, while Trump seemed to be prepared for a huge applause by his fellow Republicans, I heard crickets chirp something in Russian. What did he think such a line would accomplish? If the intent was to make him even more guilty, then mission accomplished.

The other moment that stood out to me was when Trump encouraged Congress to work together for the betterment of the country. He actually uttered the word "compromise" and in a positive fashion. If just about anybody else had said this, I may have taken them seriously, but Trump? I'm sorry, but I had to laugh at such a suggestion. Let's not forget, Donald Trump is the guy who: Called Mexicans "rapists;" insulted the Black Lives Matter movement; mocked a disabled reporter; has made more sexist comments than a Valedictorian math major can count; suggested Muslims should be banned from entering the country; has made anti-semitic remarks; called the media "the enemy of the people." If you're breathing, there's a good chance he has insulted or mocked a demographic of yours. The guy has even encouraged violence at his rallies, claiming he'd pay for his supporters' bail and legal tabs. Ah, yes, but let's place those 2+ years of insults, discrimination, hate, mockery, and division to the side and come together. We're supposed to take him seriously why again? Because he read something another person wrote off a teleprompter? There we go! That's a good enough reason for me! Not really...

Donald Trump came across like a braindead criminal clown on drugs last night. He was all over the place to the point of being comical; made it sound like he was hiding something; had facts and history down as well as Mike Pence smooth-talks women; and frightened anyone with an IQ over 70. He was full of malarkey, hypocrisy, Adderall, and his base loved it. We really are living in Idiocracy and I'm counting down the days to the 2020 election when we start slowly working our way back to sanity by electing a new president. 635 days...

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