Transcript for Podcast: "I Feel Snitty," Episode 75: "If I Lost $1,000,000,000" (parody based on the Barenaked Ladies song, "If I Had $1,000,000") is now available!

Podcast: I Feel Snitty

Episode 75: "If I Lost $1,000,000,000" (parody based on the Barenaked Ladies song, "If I Had $1,000,000")

Premiere Date: 9/30/20

Length: 3:45 (372 words)

Link: https://ifeelsnitty.podbean.com/e/if-i-lost-1000000000-parody-based-on-the-barenaked-ladies-song-if-i-had-1000000/

Transcript: 

“If I lost $1,000,000,000” (to the tune of the Barenaked Ladies’ “If I Had a $1,000,000”)

If I lost $1,000,000,000 (If I lost $1,000,000,000)
I'd be a genius (I would be a genius)
If I lost $1,000,000,000 (If I lost $1,000,000,000)
I'd brilliantly talk of my genius (maybe at a KKK rally like normal)
If I lost $1,000,000,000 (If I lost $1,000,000,000)
I'd smile very bigly (or is that big league? I'm not quite sure)
If I lost $1,000,000,000 I'd blame Biden

If I lost $1,000,000,000
I'd ask daddy for billions more
If I lost $1,000,000,000
I'd go to the million dollar store
If I lost $1,000,000,000
Maybe I could run for president, be a total asshole

[Not like a – you know – a real asshole. I mean, some say I stink, but they don’t know their ass from their butt. I do. I know more about butts than dentists. Yeah. That’s why I don’t go to dentists. I don’t want a colonoscopy. Butt cavities suck. Truth.]

If I lost $1,000,000,000 (If I lost $1,000,000,000)
I'd provide a half smirk (the ugly one you see in memes)
If I lost $1,000,000,000 (If I lost $1,000,000,000)
I'd shrug like it was nothing much (a full shrug, nothing half-assed)
If I lost $1,000,000,000 (If I lost $1,000,000,000)
I'd release all my tax returns (you know I'm kidding, right? Losers!)
If I lost $1,000,000,000 I'd blame BIden

If I lost $1,000,000,000
I’d laugh like there was no tomorrow
If I lost $1,000,000,000
Could drop cash 'til I lost a billion more
If I lost $1,000,000,000
I would still be such a yuge asshole

(Again, it’s not literal. The literal media. Who needs literal media anyway? Literal people? No such thing. They’re a hoax.)

If I lost $1,000,000,000 (If I lost $1,000,000,000)
I'd marry wife 4 (not one who steals from O’Bummer)
If I lost $1,000,000,000 (If I lost $1,000,000,000)
I'd start writing songs (like a dog named Ignoramus)
If I lost $1,000,000,000 (If I lost $1,000,000,000)
I'd stop paying taxes (I was never paying them anyway)
If I lost $1,000,000,000 I'd blame Biden

If I lost $1,000,000,000 (If I lost $1,000,000,000)
If I lost $1,000,000,000 (If I lost $1,000,000,000)

If I lost $1,000,000,000
I'd be Trump.