I love my family and I love old people (okay, VERY mature people - I'll be nice), but there are times I have to sit back and wonder, "Is 95% of what you talk about related to health problems?"
A couple months ago, I met up with some older friends of mine at a pub. One of them had been going through a lot on the health-front, so I asked him how that was all going. I'll never forget his response.
He said, "The one thing you should never ask an old person is, 'How are you feeling?," because you'll never hear the end of it!"
Sadly, in some cases at least, that seems to be fairly accurate. Unfortunately, if I were to follow this man's advice, how on earth would I start the conversation? It's just habit anymore to ask any person, regardless of age, "How's it going?" or "What's up?" After hearing this man's before-mentioned response to such a question, while continually hearing about some family members' health problems, I'm left wondering how to start conversations with people of a certain age.
"How's the hammer hanging?" could work for guys, but I'm not sure if it would with women so much.
"How's the weather been?" could work for a couple minutes, but it could also be a gateway to health problems - "It's been wonderful, but I haven't been able to get out and enjoy it because of (fill-in-the-blank)."
"How 'bout them (local sports team)?" could work for a few minutes as well, but as I'm beginning to discover, could also lead to discussions about health - "The Athletics have been great, but I just can't stay up that late anymore, especially with these pills the doctor just prescribed me."
"Have you been paying attention to the news lately?" could once again work for a few minutes, but that could lead to a similar response to the one just mentioned about a team's ballgames being on too late, and could also lead to a wondrous political discussion.
"Have you talked to so-and-so lately?" may be the safest bet of all five of these potential conversation opening questions, but again, is no guarantee. There could be potential drama between this person and the one being asked about and if that other person has health problems, then it could once again lead to a 60-minute chat about just that.
I guess while I can understand my older friends' advice on never asking an old person about his or her health, I have a feeling that regardless if it's asked about or not, there's a 95% chance health will get brought into the discussion. If a person is set on talking about something when picking up the phone, whether or not the topic is brought up is of little relevance. While transitioning from something like a breaking news story to diabetes or back problems may be difficult to operate in a smooth manner in a book or movie, most conversations don't run like a smooth piece of scriptwriting. They bounce around like a pinball, to the point where you're asking yourself, "Where on earth is that ball going to go next?" Well, if it's one of the older people I've spoken with in recent days and weeks, it'll probably land on health. Hopefully I don't wind up like that in 30-40 years, where my kids feel like they need to smoke a bong, take Prozac, or get liquored up before coming over to hear about all my problems. Heck, perhaps I'll provide the herb brownies myself - so long as they're legal at that point of course, or if I move to Amsterdam.
A couple months ago, I met up with some older friends of mine at a pub. One of them had been going through a lot on the health-front, so I asked him how that was all going. I'll never forget his response.
He said, "The one thing you should never ask an old person is, 'How are you feeling?," because you'll never hear the end of it!"
Sadly, in some cases at least, that seems to be fairly accurate. Unfortunately, if I were to follow this man's advice, how on earth would I start the conversation? It's just habit anymore to ask any person, regardless of age, "How's it going?" or "What's up?" After hearing this man's before-mentioned response to such a question, while continually hearing about some family members' health problems, I'm left wondering how to start conversations with people of a certain age.
"How's the hammer hanging?" could work for guys, but I'm not sure if it would with women so much.
"How's the weather been?" could work for a couple minutes, but it could also be a gateway to health problems - "It's been wonderful, but I haven't been able to get out and enjoy it because of (fill-in-the-blank)."
"How 'bout them (local sports team)?" could work for a few minutes as well, but as I'm beginning to discover, could also lead to discussions about health - "The Athletics have been great, but I just can't stay up that late anymore, especially with these pills the doctor just prescribed me."
"Have you been paying attention to the news lately?" could once again work for a few minutes, but that could lead to a similar response to the one just mentioned about a team's ballgames being on too late, and could also lead to a wondrous political discussion.
"Have you talked to so-and-so lately?" may be the safest bet of all five of these potential conversation opening questions, but again, is no guarantee. There could be potential drama between this person and the one being asked about and if that other person has health problems, then it could once again lead to a 60-minute chat about just that.
I guess while I can understand my older friends' advice on never asking an old person about his or her health, I have a feeling that regardless if it's asked about or not, there's a 95% chance health will get brought into the discussion. If a person is set on talking about something when picking up the phone, whether or not the topic is brought up is of little relevance. While transitioning from something like a breaking news story to diabetes or back problems may be difficult to operate in a smooth manner in a book or movie, most conversations don't run like a smooth piece of scriptwriting. They bounce around like a pinball, to the point where you're asking yourself, "Where on earth is that ball going to go next?" Well, if it's one of the older people I've spoken with in recent days and weeks, it'll probably land on health. Hopefully I don't wind up like that in 30-40 years, where my kids feel like they need to smoke a bong, take Prozac, or get liquored up before coming over to hear about all my problems. Heck, perhaps I'll provide the herb brownies myself - so long as they're legal at that point of course, or if I move to Amsterdam.
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