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What I learned in Week 9 of the NFL season...

In Week 9 of the NFL season, I learned that...

- ...Joe Flacco may be going to "f*cking Disneyland" early this year.

- ...Eli Manning may soon gear up in a full-body condom for added protection.

- ...the Seattle Seahawks secondary may not have eaten enough Butterfingers on Halloween.

- ...Alex Smith and Tyreek Hill have answered the age-old question, "How can you turn a Hail Mary into a 20-yard pass toward the middle of the field?"

- ..., after their Thursday night game, players from both the Buffalo Bills and New York Jets likely threw a we're-better-now-without-Rex-Ryan party.

- ..., for as poorly as they've played in his absence, the Packers' Aaron Rodgers may now be the frontrunner for the "literal" MVP award.

- ...Philadelphia and St. Louis just scored again.

- ...dyslexic Giants fans are asking New Orleans if they can borrow the "Aint's" nickname.

- ...A.J. Green's motto is, "If you can't beat 'em, bodyslam 'em!"

- ..., during a bye week, the Cleveland Browns play their best football.
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