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What I learned in week 5 of the NFL season

In week 5 of the NFL season, I learned that...

- ..., due to how awful the New York Jets pass protection is, Geno Smith and Michael Vick will spend the rest of the season telling the media, "Honestly, I think the other guy should start."

- ..., when Aaron Rodgers says "relax," people should f**king relax!

- ..., after the season, the Detroit Lions will likely ask that the league adopt a no-kicker policy.

- ...even this year's Pittsburgh Steelers defense can look like the steel curtain of old when facing the Jacksonville Jaguars.

- ...since Tom Brady seems to play so well when angry, Bill Belichick will pay random guys to hit on his wife, Gisele Bundchen, before every game. Belichick has reportedly volunteered to be the first such individual. You go, Bill!

- ...it's sad when the Oakland Raiders have their best week of the season during a bye.

- ...Atlanta Falcons and Cleveland Browns coaches are going to swap notes on how to play well in the first half vs. how to play well in the second half since neither team seems to realize each game is comprised of four quarters. If the game were called a "dollar," perhaps this would help.

- ..., that after getting carried off the field by players in the Buffalo Bills' 17-14 win over the Detroit Lions, defensive coordinator Jim Schwartz said, "This is the most action I've gotten in years! Just ask my wife!"

- ...heart attacks are likely up this year in Cleveland.

- ...Detroit Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford sent Pro Bowl receive Calvin Johnson the following tweet after the game on Sunday, "Please get well soon. I just don't feel complete without you, and my stats show it. xoxo."
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