Transcript for Podcast: "I Feel Snitty," Episode 127: “Trickin’ Boomers” (parody based on the Biz Markie song, “Pickin’ Boogers”) now available!

Podcast: I Feel Snitty

Episode 127: “Trickin’ Boomers” (parody based on the Biz Markie song, “Pickin’ Boogers”)

Premiere Date: 3/12/21

Length: 4:33 (670 words)

Link: https://ifeelsnitty.podbean.com/e/trickin-boomers-parody-based-on-the-biz-markie-song-pickin-boogers/

Transcript:

You may be a bit older, but you’re still workin’

The GOP is here for ya

We’ll help you retire

That’s what we call it when you’re six feet under

Taxes will trickle down before you’re eighty – we’re trickin’ boomers

Workin’ the nine to five, livin’ paycheck to paycheck

Ship jobs overseas for America

We’ll downsize bigly just for your benefit

Trust us with the one percent tax cuts

Whether you are born with money or you are not

We’ll make sure you get a shot – so long as you’re white

Having a millionaire father couldn’t hurt, though

Actually, we’d highly suggest you do so

All the hand-me-downs from white father to white son

That’s how your hard work outta be done

Hey, you can do it too

Just work hard; never complain; and never sue

Trickin’ boomers

That’s not the lone reason you should vote for us

Now, we are not trying to be racist here

But that one black guy is lazy, so they all are

Hispanics can’t speak no proper English either

Them stupid Asians? Go back to Chinatown

Tokyo, China

Again, we’re not racist, so what we’re ‘bout to say can’t be racist

We promise to only take care of you – our white friends

No one else out there matters – even Ben Carson

We’ll lock up the blacks for merely jaywalking

Watching them so close – like Key and Peele’s official

We’ll build a wall to keep out the Juans and Joses

If they work cheap, though, they can build the wall themselves

If you’re made in China, you aren’t American

That’s why we’ve got nothin’ here that was made there

We’ll ban Muslims from entering this great country

Because, as the Constitution says, we’re all free

See? We’re just looking out for your best interests

Pointing out squirrels as we scam you out of millions

Getting you to blame the middle class, blame the poor

As we ride in our nine yachts and yell, “Four more!”

Trickin’ boomers

Ha!

Let’s lighten the mood and talk about the gays

They can marry? What’s next, men and blue jays?

What would be the point in that, since windmills kill birds?

See? This is how you know global warming isn’t real

Where were we? Birds, windmills, weather? Oh, gays

Homosapiens are abominations

Marriages will never be sacred again

Not even drunk marriages in Vegas

It’s all in the Bible – in Two Corinthians

It says, “Jesus loves all the little children”

“All the children of the world – ‘spec’ly you, you, and you”

“The exception: liking dicks and being a dude”

What are we s’pposed to do now?

Marry eleven or twelve ladies like Mormons?

This whole equality thing – it is just not fair

What in the world will these people think of next, equal pay?

We vow to save marriage right now

To make all your broken marriages seem special

It’s Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve

Being married to Melanie, sleeping with Stormy

Trickin’ boomers

So, now it’s time to get all religious and sh*t

The Democrats’ War on Christmas - that was just the start

They want to take God out of everything – even K-Mart

Jesus’s fake birthday was December 25th

Everyone, their mother Mary know this

Hippy Jesus – the ultimate capitalist

Always decked out in robes, sandals, and sh*t

He talked ‘bout giving to the poor, poorer, poorest

Which is why he always fought for tax cuts for the wealthiest

Money trickles down like bread, fish from Jesus

When on the cross, he talked ‘bout Reaganomics

JC may have been Jewish, but he was Christian just like us

Found the NRA, wrote the Second Amendment

He’s the perfect man, kinda like Donald J. Trump

They have much in common; gave it all up; sacrificed themselves

Yeah, we read the Bible, ev’ry day – that should be obvious

We hope you don’t, for we’re trickin’ boomers – Satan please help us

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