I was a day late with the trending hashtag #MyAdviceToTrump, but posted a few such tweets anyway. Here they are, ordered from the most to least popular (you can view all my tweets here - https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki):
1) When speaking out against immigrants, be certain not to fully discuss your family history, your workers, or your wives.
#MyAdviceToTrump
24 Likes, 15 Retweets
2) Keep America great by not becoming president.
#MyAdviceToTrump
23 Likes, 7 Retweets
3) Since it takes two to tango, you should probably be consistent & punish men for helping provide women the abortion option.
#MyAdviceToTrump
17 Likes, 0 Retweets
4) Start providing large doses of medical marijuana to all your rally attendees so their anger decreases to normal levels.
#MyAdviceToTrump
9 Likes, 7 Retweets
5) Regardless of what you've been told, being specific while on the debate stage will not result in the zombie apocalypse.
#MyAdviceToTrump
9 Likes, 6 Retweets
5) When people say, "I like pumpkin," this does not mean, "I would love for our president to resemble a pumpkin."
#MyAdviceToTrump
10 Likes, 5 Retweets
5) If thou wish to stay healthy, thou must never consume Trump Steaks or Trump Vodka.
#MyAdviceToTrump
15 Likes, 0 Retweets
8) Never challenge Ted Cruz to a creepiness contest.
#MyAdviceToTrump
12 Likes, 1 Retweet
8) Don't take the "Field of Dreams" quote to heart. "If you build it (the wall), they will come (crazies)" was not about you.
#MyAdviceToTrump
13 Likes, 0 Retweets
10) Providing "small" $1 million loans to all Americans would be greatly appreciated, and hey, like you said, it's "small."
#MyAdviceToTrump
6 Likes, 5 Retweets
10) Talk about banging your daughter as much as you talk about climate-change being a valid concern, which is never.
#MyAdviceToTrump
7 Likes, 4 Retweets
10) Carefully read the book I'm about to write, entitled, "How to Use Bigger Words Than 'Big'."
#MyAdviceToTrump
9 Likes, 2 Retweets
10) If asked, "What's your favorite animal?" don't reply, "Whatever in the hell this thing is on my head."
#MyAdviceToTrump
10 Likes, 1 Retweet
14) The way to a woman's heart isn't by trying to find your hands while bragging to her how big they are, so yeah, stop that.
#MyAdviceToTrump
6 Likes, 4 Retweets
14) When tempted to talk about your daughter's chest, think about Chris Christie & William Taft sumo wrestling before speaking.
#MyAdviceToTrump
9 Likes, 1 Retweet
16) Never approach GQ magazine with the idea of placing yourself on the cover next to the words "Oompa Loompa of the Month."
#MyAdviceToTrump
7 Likes, 2 Retweets
16) You might want to find some better friends than the oft-mentioned "some guy I know."
#MyAdviceToTrump
9 Likes, 0 Retweets
18) Walk on stage at every rally while the Gnarls Barkley song "Crazy" is blasting on the speakers.
#MyAdviceToTrump
6 Likes, 2 Retweets
18) Sound more intelligent by speaking less.
#MyAdviceToTrump
7 Likes, 1 Retweet
20) "In Drumpf We Trust" will never catch on, so don't even think about it...
#MyAdviceToTrump
3 Likes, 2 Retweets
20) Listen closely to the Syracuse Orange mascot's lecture on how to appear less orange.
#MyAdviceToTrump
5 Likes, 0 Retweets
22) It's probably best not to compare someone to a child molester just before asking for their endorsement.
#MyAdviceToTrump
3 Likes, 0 Retweets
23) Within a week's span, it's probably best not to change positions more than is revealed in the Kama Sutra.
#MyAdviceToTrump
1 Like, 1 Retweet
24) When talking about the Bible, stick to Mark, Luke, John, & Job. Wait, forget that last one; it's not pronounced "jäb."
#MyAdviceToTrump
1 Like, 0 Retweets
24) It does no good for an NBA player to call out another for shooting 40% when he's shooting just 30% ("Lyin' Ted!").
#MyAdviceToTrump
1 Like, 0 Retweets
Totals: 222 Likes, 66 Retweets (Averages of 8.9 Likes, 2.6 Retweets)
1) When speaking out against immigrants, be certain not to fully discuss your family history, your workers, or your wives.
#MyAdviceToTrump
24 Likes, 15 Retweets
2) Keep America great by not becoming president.
#MyAdviceToTrump
23 Likes, 7 Retweets
3) Since it takes two to tango, you should probably be consistent & punish men for helping provide women the abortion option.
#MyAdviceToTrump
17 Likes, 0 Retweets
4) Start providing large doses of medical marijuana to all your rally attendees so their anger decreases to normal levels.
#MyAdviceToTrump
9 Likes, 7 Retweets
5) Regardless of what you've been told, being specific while on the debate stage will not result in the zombie apocalypse.
#MyAdviceToTrump
9 Likes, 6 Retweets
5) When people say, "I like pumpkin," this does not mean, "I would love for our president to resemble a pumpkin."
#MyAdviceToTrump
10 Likes, 5 Retweets
5) If thou wish to stay healthy, thou must never consume Trump Steaks or Trump Vodka.
#MyAdviceToTrump
15 Likes, 0 Retweets
8) Never challenge Ted Cruz to a creepiness contest.
#MyAdviceToTrump
12 Likes, 1 Retweet
8) Don't take the "Field of Dreams" quote to heart. "If you build it (the wall), they will come (crazies)" was not about you.
#MyAdviceToTrump
13 Likes, 0 Retweets
10) Providing "small" $1 million loans to all Americans would be greatly appreciated, and hey, like you said, it's "small."
#MyAdviceToTrump
6 Likes, 5 Retweets
10) Talk about banging your daughter as much as you talk about climate-change being a valid concern, which is never.
#MyAdviceToTrump
7 Likes, 4 Retweets
10) Carefully read the book I'm about to write, entitled, "How to Use Bigger Words Than 'Big'."
#MyAdviceToTrump
9 Likes, 2 Retweets
10) If asked, "What's your favorite animal?" don't reply, "Whatever in the hell this thing is on my head."
#MyAdviceToTrump
10 Likes, 1 Retweet
14) The way to a woman's heart isn't by trying to find your hands while bragging to her how big they are, so yeah, stop that.
#MyAdviceToTrump
6 Likes, 4 Retweets
14) When tempted to talk about your daughter's chest, think about Chris Christie & William Taft sumo wrestling before speaking.
#MyAdviceToTrump
9 Likes, 1 Retweet
16) Never approach GQ magazine with the idea of placing yourself on the cover next to the words "Oompa Loompa of the Month."
#MyAdviceToTrump
7 Likes, 2 Retweets
16) You might want to find some better friends than the oft-mentioned "some guy I know."
#MyAdviceToTrump
9 Likes, 0 Retweets
18) Walk on stage at every rally while the Gnarls Barkley song "Crazy" is blasting on the speakers.
#MyAdviceToTrump
6 Likes, 2 Retweets
18) Sound more intelligent by speaking less.
#MyAdviceToTrump
7 Likes, 1 Retweet
20) "In Drumpf We Trust" will never catch on, so don't even think about it...
#MyAdviceToTrump
3 Likes, 2 Retweets
20) Listen closely to the Syracuse Orange mascot's lecture on how to appear less orange.
#MyAdviceToTrump
5 Likes, 0 Retweets
22) It's probably best not to compare someone to a child molester just before asking for their endorsement.
#MyAdviceToTrump
3 Likes, 0 Retweets
23) Within a week's span, it's probably best not to change positions more than is revealed in the Kama Sutra.
#MyAdviceToTrump
1 Like, 1 Retweet
24) When talking about the Bible, stick to Mark, Luke, John, & Job. Wait, forget that last one; it's not pronounced "jäb."
#MyAdviceToTrump
1 Like, 0 Retweets
24) It does no good for an NBA player to call out another for shooting 40% when he's shooting just 30% ("Lyin' Ted!").
#MyAdviceToTrump
1 Like, 0 Retweets
Totals: 222 Likes, 66 Retweets (Averages of 8.9 Likes, 2.6 Retweets)
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