It's been a while since I've seriously dated, so it feels like I'm having to learn all over again. I'm having to learn the game-playing manual, when to be straight-forward and when to hold back a bit, when to be completely honest and when to give a half-truth. I have to say, I'm not liking these new rules or rewritings of rules.
The saying goes, "Don't hate the player, hate the game." My question is, if the players hate the game, why play the game in the first place? Then there would be no players or game.
I've heard or read people say things such as, "When he/she asks you out, either say you'll have to get back to them after you've had time to check your schedule or say you're busy that night, but ask for a rain check, so as to not let them think you have a lot of free time, that you don't have much going on in your life, that sort of thing." Why? I don't understand this. If one is excited about the prospect of going on a date with a person, why is it necessary to place them on hold, wondering to themselves if you're actually interested? Perhaps I'm too honest, but if someone I'm interested in asks me out, I'd be hard-pressed to put them on hold as opposed to saying, "Yeah, sure, that sounds great." I mean, what if I said I'd get back to them and they had already bumped into someone else whom caught their interest while I was playing games? I'd then be questioning my decision for quite some time.
I've also read or heard the rule that you're not to call your date until 1-2 days after the date. Again, why? If the date went really well, you were excited about the prospect of a second date and can't get this person out of your head, why can't you call before and show this joy and excitement? What's wrong about feeling a connection with a person, having a great time with them and wanting to see them again in the near future?
I just don't understand game-playing, two people, whom have a mutual interest in one another, to try and be one move ahead of the other to prevent themselves from getting hurt. That's all I see it as, a means to prevent oneself from being hurt. Nobody likes being hurt, but I just wonder if game-playing limits two people's potential, if they're so busy obsessing about their possibly being hurt in the future, that it becomes more difficult to discover their true potential as a couple.
It'll be difficult for me to ever take part in this "game-playing" that seems so common anymore and who knows, that may make me more prone to getting hurt than one whom commonly plays games, but I'd like to believe the final reward will be far greater for someone like myself whom doesn't take part in those very games.
The saying goes, "Don't hate the player, hate the game." My question is, if the players hate the game, why play the game in the first place? Then there would be no players or game.
I've heard or read people say things such as, "When he/she asks you out, either say you'll have to get back to them after you've had time to check your schedule or say you're busy that night, but ask for a rain check, so as to not let them think you have a lot of free time, that you don't have much going on in your life, that sort of thing." Why? I don't understand this. If one is excited about the prospect of going on a date with a person, why is it necessary to place them on hold, wondering to themselves if you're actually interested? Perhaps I'm too honest, but if someone I'm interested in asks me out, I'd be hard-pressed to put them on hold as opposed to saying, "Yeah, sure, that sounds great." I mean, what if I said I'd get back to them and they had already bumped into someone else whom caught their interest while I was playing games? I'd then be questioning my decision for quite some time.
I've also read or heard the rule that you're not to call your date until 1-2 days after the date. Again, why? If the date went really well, you were excited about the prospect of a second date and can't get this person out of your head, why can't you call before and show this joy and excitement? What's wrong about feeling a connection with a person, having a great time with them and wanting to see them again in the near future?
I just don't understand game-playing, two people, whom have a mutual interest in one another, to try and be one move ahead of the other to prevent themselves from getting hurt. That's all I see it as, a means to prevent oneself from being hurt. Nobody likes being hurt, but I just wonder if game-playing limits two people's potential, if they're so busy obsessing about their possibly being hurt in the future, that it becomes more difficult to discover their true potential as a couple.
It'll be difficult for me to ever take part in this "game-playing" that seems so common anymore and who knows, that may make me more prone to getting hurt than one whom commonly plays games, but I'd like to believe the final reward will be far greater for someone like myself whom doesn't take part in those very games.
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