Skip to main content

Reactions to My Book


Commentary
What did everyone think of the book or author?

“I feel dirty after reading this.” - Prostitute

“We like a lot of guys, but he may be our favorite. - Boy Band

“The book was interesting. It… Oh, did you see that bird over there? Wow, there are a lot of planes that come this way, huh? That blade of grass is moving quite a bit. Oh, look, a car!” - Person with ADD

“Why do you do this to me? My parents are going to hate you now because of this book! Why? Why, Craig? Do you want me to be miserable? Sometimes I think you do. Ugh!” - Future Wife

“I’ll get to your question in a second. Let me pull out my binoculars first. You see him up there? He’s working out again. God, he’s so hot!” - Stalker

“Thank God I saved his sinful ass.” - Jesus

“It looks like he will be receiving plenty of coal this year.” - Santa Claus

“I loved it!” - Satan

“You can tell he went all in. Speaking of which, I’d like to go all in.” - Professional Poker Player and Porn Star on the side

“I can tell you this much. After reading this, even if he were a woman, he would not be lucky #7.” - Polygamist

“It weally swucks!” - Elmer Fudd

“Well, he ain’t my cousin, but he seems alright.” - Southerner

“Give me a S! Give me a U! Give me a P! Give me an E! Give me a R! Give me a B! What’s that spell, girls? Eh, super, b? What’s that?” - Cheerleaders

“It was muy goodo. Eh, tengo mucho laughs.” - Spanglish Major

“I can’t really decide what I think about it. I could go either way.” - Bisexual

“Wait… You’re asking me what? Well, I don’t know. Where’s my writer at? Hey! I need an answer! Where are you? I can’t do this without you!” - Pop Star

“I thought it was very good. It made me laugh so much it hurt! What the hell is wrong with him? Does he really think this stuff is funny? He sucks! Gosh, I really like his style of writing. He’s very talented.” - Person with Bipolar Disorder

“Better not tell you now.” - Magic 8-Ball

“It was said today that Craig Rozniecki’s new book has saved the world, but onto more important matters. Is it true that this congressman really slept with his wife’s twin sister? Also ahead, do you hear voices? If so, you may be schizophrenic. All this and more after these commercials.” - News Anchor

“It’s greeeeeeeaaaa… Eh, it’s alright.” - Tony the Tiger

“I honestly haven’t had time to read this book. I’m so confused. My wife is sleeping with my father. I’m dating her best friend. My brother is seemingly competing with me for her best friend. Meanwhile, my mother was caught the other day with Tiger Woods.” - A Soap Opera Star

“He’s such a smartass! I hate smartasses!” - Dumbass

Osama bin Laden was unavailable for comment.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun...
2 comments
Read more

A closer look at the Scramble With Friends power-ups

I am unashamed to admit that I'm a nerd. My idea of a good time is playing a word game like Boggle or Scrabble. Thankfully, I (and many others) can play such games via Facebook and/or my (our) cell phone(s). While it seems that cheating has become more commonplace in these games (Words With Friends in particular) than San Diego has had nice weather, I've yet to give in to that craze. One element present with the game Scramble With Friends (Boggle) not present in Words With Friends (Scrabble) are legal boosts called "power-ups," which cost a number of tokens from the 15 available. I've now tried all five power-ups, including the latest one which costs money. So, in case anyone's curious about playing the game or giving these power-ups a gander, here's a rundown of them all: Freeze - I think this is probably my favorite of all the power-ups. With the freeze, time stands still for a matter of seconds, which allows you more time to find words and improve...
Post a Comment
Read more

Face guarding is legal in college football and the NFL

I just wanted to remind fans and announcers especially, that face guarding is legal in both college football and the NFL. It all comes down to contact. So long as a defender doesn't make contact with an intended receiver, he doesn't have to turn around to play the ball. I can't tell you how many times every week I hear announcers talk about face guarding being a penalty. It's not. I even heard one announcer yesterday state, "If the defender doesn't turn around and play the ball, the ref will call pass interference every time." That's simply not true. Courtesy of referee Bill LeMonnier, he says this with regard to the rule at the college level (answered on 8/12/13): "NCAA rules on pass interference require the face guarding to have contact to be a foul. No contact, no foul by NCAA rules." In the NFL rule book, this is written:  "Actions that constitute defensive pass interference include but are not limited to: (a) Contact by a ...
2 comments
Read more