Family Research Council founder James Dobson has decided to take his fight against abortion to the next level, as he has recently lobbied Congressional Republicans to sign a bill protecting the life of each and every puppy-monkey-baby. On his radio show, Family Talk with Dr. James Dobson, the evangelical leader said this:
"Have you seen the Mountain Dew puppy-monkey-baby commercial? Some people have found this ad disturbing, even going so far as to say the creators must have been snorting some kind of drugs, like Pepto Bismol. I, however, find it disturbing for another reason - there has been no legislation proposed in Congress to protect puppy-monkey-babies from abortion. I realize there have been no other reported cases of puppy-monkey-babies and it's still highly perplexing how this first one came to be born - perhaps via a crazy threesome between a bulldog, a woman named Barbara Shitzcrazy, and a pygmy marmoset - but in any case, we must protect these fetus animal things. So I want each and every one of you to write and call your local Congressmen and tell them to pass a bill protecting the innocent lives of puppy-monkey-babies. Tell them that, unless you're a gay or lesbo, we're all God's children, that we should all be accepted and loved as such, and that if they don't pass such a bill, they'll be going to hell. Amen."
In response to Dobson's statement, the creators of the Mountain Dew ad said, "What the hell kinda sh*t is that dude on? Whatever it is, give us some to help us with our next commercial, 'hippo tarantula princess.'"
"Have you seen the Mountain Dew puppy-monkey-baby commercial? Some people have found this ad disturbing, even going so far as to say the creators must have been snorting some kind of drugs, like Pepto Bismol. I, however, find it disturbing for another reason - there has been no legislation proposed in Congress to protect puppy-monkey-babies from abortion. I realize there have been no other reported cases of puppy-monkey-babies and it's still highly perplexing how this first one came to be born - perhaps via a crazy threesome between a bulldog, a woman named Barbara Shitzcrazy, and a pygmy marmoset - but in any case, we must protect these fetus animal things. So I want each and every one of you to write and call your local Congressmen and tell them to pass a bill protecting the innocent lives of puppy-monkey-babies. Tell them that, unless you're a gay or lesbo, we're all God's children, that we should all be accepted and loved as such, and that if they don't pass such a bill, they'll be going to hell. Amen."
In response to Dobson's statement, the creators of the Mountain Dew ad said, "What the hell kinda sh*t is that dude on? Whatever it is, give us some to help us with our next commercial, 'hippo tarantula princess.'"
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