Not too long ago, Donald Trump drew criticism for telling MSNBC's Chris Matthews that he believed women who have abortions should get punished. When he was asked by MSNBC's Willie Geist on Wednesday whether or not he stood by his previous comments, here is what the presumptive Republican presidential nominee said:
"No, he was asking me a theoretical, or just a question in theory, and I talked about it only from that standpoint. Of course not. And that was done, he said, you know, I guess it was theoretically, but he was asking a rhetorical question, and I gave an answer. And by the way, people thought from an academic standpoint, and, asked rhetorically, people said that answer was an unbelievable academic answer! But of course not, and I said that afterwards."
This is the Republican nominee for president, folks. This is one of your two main options to lead this country starting in 2017. Let that sink in for a second...
Have you let that possibility sink in yet? You've grabbed a bottle of whiskey, haven't you? Trust me, you're not alone. Well, while we're all getting hammered, why not try to have a little fun with this quote, especially since Trump himself has previously stated, "I know words. I have the best words"?
As the above quote indicates, Donald Trump appears to confuse the words theoretically and rhetorically with hypothetically, much like he confuses democratic socialism with socialism and communism, 9/11 with 7-Eleven, Second Corinthians with Two Corinthians, etc. Given these seemingly constant word mix-ups, here's how I envision the GOP presidential nominee expressing himself in the following situations:
Event: A speech on terrorism
Trump: "It's a well known fact, Islam teaches Museums to hate America. So, like, yeah, we need to go ahead and bomb the countries of Iraq, Iran, and Cereal."
Event: Giving the birds-and-bees talk to one of his daughters
Trump: "Sex is a part of every person's life, but you have to be safe, okay? First off, always make sure the guy is wearing a condominium. If he doesn't wear a condominium, you could get pregnant or get one of those diseases, like slurpees or diarrhea."
Event: Sharing his handwritten wedding vows
Trump: "I vow to always be nice, treat you with respect, and make you organic plasma every time we formulate in bed or wherever. I vow to hold your hand and take care of you when you've got the flu, a cold, or a sinus reflection. I vow to always be somewhat loyal and to never commit an act of fidelity Castro or whatever that is."
Event: Talking sports at a bar
Trump: "Kayne Bryant is maybe the best basketball player ever. Some people will say it's Kareem Abdul-Jabba the Hutt and others will say it's Michael Jackson, but I gotta disagree. It's Kayne Bryant."
Event: Teaching an English course
Trump: "It's truly a honer to be here today. I remember when I first learned the English, like the subjects and predilections, the nouns, verbs, and propositions. Sentences were huge when I was growing up, I mean, they were like unbelievably big. Words were even bigger than sentences, like really really big, even bigly if you wanted to put it that way. My favorite word growing up was grammatically, because, I mean, that's like an ode to grandma, and I loved my grandma very very much, my grammatically grandma. So yeah, if any of you have any questions, ask away. I know words. I have the best words."
https://www.rawstory.com/2016/05/trumps-80-word-explanation-about-punishing-women-for-abortion-will-make-you-instantly-dumber/comments/#disqus
http://gawker.com/yet-another-bold-claim-from-donald-trump-i-know-words-1750331997
"No, he was asking me a theoretical, or just a question in theory, and I talked about it only from that standpoint. Of course not. And that was done, he said, you know, I guess it was theoretically, but he was asking a rhetorical question, and I gave an answer. And by the way, people thought from an academic standpoint, and, asked rhetorically, people said that answer was an unbelievable academic answer! But of course not, and I said that afterwards."
This is the Republican nominee for president, folks. This is one of your two main options to lead this country starting in 2017. Let that sink in for a second...
Have you let that possibility sink in yet? You've grabbed a bottle of whiskey, haven't you? Trust me, you're not alone. Well, while we're all getting hammered, why not try to have a little fun with this quote, especially since Trump himself has previously stated, "I know words. I have the best words"?
As the above quote indicates, Donald Trump appears to confuse the words theoretically and rhetorically with hypothetically, much like he confuses democratic socialism with socialism and communism, 9/11 with 7-Eleven, Second Corinthians with Two Corinthians, etc. Given these seemingly constant word mix-ups, here's how I envision the GOP presidential nominee expressing himself in the following situations:
Event: A speech on terrorism
Trump: "It's a well known fact, Islam teaches Museums to hate America. So, like, yeah, we need to go ahead and bomb the countries of Iraq, Iran, and Cereal."
Event: Giving the birds-and-bees talk to one of his daughters
Trump: "Sex is a part of every person's life, but you have to be safe, okay? First off, always make sure the guy is wearing a condominium. If he doesn't wear a condominium, you could get pregnant or get one of those diseases, like slurpees or diarrhea."
Event: Sharing his handwritten wedding vows
Trump: "I vow to always be nice, treat you with respect, and make you organic plasma every time we formulate in bed or wherever. I vow to hold your hand and take care of you when you've got the flu, a cold, or a sinus reflection. I vow to always be somewhat loyal and to never commit an act of fidelity Castro or whatever that is."
Event: Talking sports at a bar
Trump: "Kayne Bryant is maybe the best basketball player ever. Some people will say it's Kareem Abdul-Jabba the Hutt and others will say it's Michael Jackson, but I gotta disagree. It's Kayne Bryant."
Event: Teaching an English course
Trump: "It's truly a honer to be here today. I remember when I first learned the English, like the subjects and predilections, the nouns, verbs, and propositions. Sentences were huge when I was growing up, I mean, they were like unbelievably big. Words were even bigger than sentences, like really really big, even bigly if you wanted to put it that way. My favorite word growing up was grammatically, because, I mean, that's like an ode to grandma, and I loved my grandma very very much, my grammatically grandma. So yeah, if any of you have any questions, ask away. I know words. I have the best words."
https://www.rawstory.com/2016/05/trumps-80-word-explanation-about-punishing-women-for-abortion-will-make-you-instantly-dumber/comments/#disqus
http://gawker.com/yet-another-bold-claim-from-donald-trump-i-know-words-1750331997
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