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Everything does NOT happen for a reason

How I'm so sick of hearing this tired cliche. I just overheard it this past Tuesday when I was out and about with some friends. A buddy of mine and I heard the very sad story about a guy's mother whom died from cancer at 39 years of age. He was only 9 at the time, I believe he said. He was then told, "Everything happens for a reason." That was followed up with a statement that I believe to be true, that if we don't believe that things happen for a reason, that tragic incidents are a result of God's plan, then it may drive us crazy. It's much easier to accept things as are if we believe these very unfortunate events were meant to be.

I agree with that latter portion there and due to that, I wish I believed everything happened for a reason. I could stop questioning why certain things happened and just accept things as they occur. However, I can't for the life of me believe that. Rape. What would the reason be behind a person being violently forced to have intercourse with another, stripping them of their innocence, sense of freedom and security and making them fearful and likely distrusting from that point forward? A child being sexually abused? Again, what would be the reasoning behind that? If a child being sexually abused is part of God's "plan," then that is not a God I will ever believe in, even if it means eternal damnation. If God is supposedly benevolent and predetermines everything, then there is no possible way for those two things to occur simultaneously when rapes and other forms of abuse occur. When a married woman is physically abused by her husband, what's the reason? There is none.

It really boggles my mind how many of these people believe in free will, yet also believe that everything is predetermined by a higher power. How is that possible? If a man rapes a woman, was this his choice? Was it predestined by a "benevolent" God? If it was his choice, wouldn't it be impossible for there to be an ultimate reason for this? If it was predestined, wouldn't it be impossible for God to be all-loving?

I wish... I wish... I wish... ...that I could believe everything happens for a reason, but I can't. God or not, I can't for the life of me believe there was a reason for the Holocaust, for a child to be scarred for his or her entire life due to abuse, for a child to be born with AIDS, for a woman to be raped, etc. No person deserves to feel helpless and be the victim of such anger, hatred and violence.
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