When I saw the trailer for Garry Marshall's "Valentine's Day" last year, I had to be rushed to the hospital, as I was suffering from Linda Blair complex and my eyes were stuck in the back of my head from rolling them so far. I could tell from the previews that it was going to be God-awful. I enjoy some romantic comedies, those that include good chemistry between the leads, genuine dialogue, solid acting and direction and a somewhat different twist to the very formulaic plot of the genre. I had a good hunch that "Valentine's Day" wasn't going to include any of those and critics agreed with me. Sadly, the movie made $110.0 million.
On the site RottenTomatoes.com, 33 critics were showcased rating the film favorably, while 149 rated it poorly, an 18% favorable rating with an average score of 3.8 out of 10. Some of the headlines for the reviews were as follows:
“A perfect date movie: you’ll miss absolutely nothing of merit if you make out in the back row instead of watching the film.” - Tim Brayton (Antagony & Ecstasy)
“I loved a couple of the scenes in Valentine’s Day: the opening credits and the closing credits.” - Gary Wolcott (Tri-City Herald)
“Hope they had fun making Valentine’s Day. There’s little to be had watching it.” - Robert W. Butler (Kansas City Star)
“About as personal and memorable as a seasonal card your significant other snatches up from a local Duane Reade at the last minute.” - Simon Abrams (Slant Magazine)
“Light your money on fire and watch it burn. It will have an equivalent entertainment value and you’ll save on gas, parking and snacks.” - Marshall Fine (Hollywood & Fine)
Garry Marshall has now directed "New Year's Eve," which will be arriving in theaters nationwide this coming Friday. Like with "Valentine's Day," I began to groan at the sight of this trailer. Even my mother asked me after seeing the trailer, "Does this remind you of 'Valentine's Day'?"
I laughed and told her, "Funny story. It's actually the same director who did 'Valentine's Day'."
So, 8 reviews are in and 7 are rotten (13% favorable thus far) with an average score of 4.6 out of 10.
Some of the headlines for the reviews are as follows:
“Offering around a dozen barely there, aggressively agreeable mini-stores spliced together and spit out with lawnmower-style eloquence, the film is pushed to punishing lengths by the engorged cast list.” - Andrew Barker (Variety)
“The result proves to be as appealing and effervescent as a flute of flat champagne.” - Michael Rechtshaffen (Hollywood Reporter)
“If there is some kind of world record for schmaltz, this may have set it.” - Jake Coyle (Associated Press)
“Mayans might have predicted the end of the world in 2012, but could they have known that the countdown to eternal hellfire would begin with Garry Marshall’s New Year’s Eve?” - Melissa Anderson (Village Voice)
“This is a party you can’t wait to be over.” - Tim Grierson (Screen International)
So, what's next? Really? What movie will Garry Marshall next direct to depress singles and simultaneously make couples gag? He's already taken care of "Valentine's Day" and "New Year's Eve" - arguably the two most depressing holidays for singles. He will be hard-pressed to find another such day to provoke singles to hibernate for a while. I shouldn't tempt him. I dared Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg to make a film following their disaster "Date Movie" and they've gone on to make several other atrocious films. So, forget I even said that, Mr. Marshall. Carry on. Wait, no, don't do that either. Eh...whatever.
On the site RottenTomatoes.com, 33 critics were showcased rating the film favorably, while 149 rated it poorly, an 18% favorable rating with an average score of 3.8 out of 10. Some of the headlines for the reviews were as follows:
“A perfect date movie: you’ll miss absolutely nothing of merit if you make out in the back row instead of watching the film.” - Tim Brayton (Antagony & Ecstasy)
“I loved a couple of the scenes in Valentine’s Day: the opening credits and the closing credits.” - Gary Wolcott (Tri-City Herald)
“Hope they had fun making Valentine’s Day. There’s little to be had watching it.” - Robert W. Butler (Kansas City Star)
“About as personal and memorable as a seasonal card your significant other snatches up from a local Duane Reade at the last minute.” - Simon Abrams (Slant Magazine)
“Light your money on fire and watch it burn. It will have an equivalent entertainment value and you’ll save on gas, parking and snacks.” - Marshall Fine (Hollywood & Fine)
Garry Marshall has now directed "New Year's Eve," which will be arriving in theaters nationwide this coming Friday. Like with "Valentine's Day," I began to groan at the sight of this trailer. Even my mother asked me after seeing the trailer, "Does this remind you of 'Valentine's Day'?"
I laughed and told her, "Funny story. It's actually the same director who did 'Valentine's Day'."
So, 8 reviews are in and 7 are rotten (13% favorable thus far) with an average score of 4.6 out of 10.
Some of the headlines for the reviews are as follows:
“Offering around a dozen barely there, aggressively agreeable mini-stores spliced together and spit out with lawnmower-style eloquence, the film is pushed to punishing lengths by the engorged cast list.” - Andrew Barker (Variety)
“The result proves to be as appealing and effervescent as a flute of flat champagne.” - Michael Rechtshaffen (Hollywood Reporter)
“If there is some kind of world record for schmaltz, this may have set it.” - Jake Coyle (Associated Press)
“Mayans might have predicted the end of the world in 2012, but could they have known that the countdown to eternal hellfire would begin with Garry Marshall’s New Year’s Eve?” - Melissa Anderson (Village Voice)
“This is a party you can’t wait to be over.” - Tim Grierson (Screen International)
So, what's next? Really? What movie will Garry Marshall next direct to depress singles and simultaneously make couples gag? He's already taken care of "Valentine's Day" and "New Year's Eve" - arguably the two most depressing holidays for singles. He will be hard-pressed to find another such day to provoke singles to hibernate for a while. I shouldn't tempt him. I dared Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg to make a film following their disaster "Date Movie" and they've gone on to make several other atrocious films. So, forget I even said that, Mr. Marshall. Carry on. Wait, no, don't do that either. Eh...whatever.
Comments
Post a Comment