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Chuck Norris encourages Jacksonville to sign Tim Tebow

I seriously thought an article I read this morning was by The Onion when I first saw it, but I guess it's the real deal. Action-film legend Chuck Norris wrote an op-ed column on the conservative site Newsbusters encouraging the Jacksonville Jaguars to sign former New York Jets backup quarterback Tim Tebow.

In the column, Norris wrote:

"Tebow is a player who rises to the occasion and delivers big in critical moments. He reminds me of myself when I used to compete in martial arts."

I'm sure, at his age, Norris does rise to the occasion, thanks to Viagra.

Seriously, though, why in the world would an NFL football team take the advice from an elderly former movie star on who they should sign? ...and why would this former movie star think they would heed his advice?

In my mind, this is what Chuck Norris should have written in the column:

"I may not have played high school football, college ball, pro ball, or even watched the sport very much, but I know a winner when I see one and that winner is Tim Tebow. I don't know anything about him other than he's big, strong, and Christian. I think he's a quarterback, but I'm not 100% positive of that. In any case, I truly believe it would be in the best interests of the Jacksonville Jaguars to sign Tebow. This is coming from me, Chuck Norris - the only man Freddy Krueger fears. I may not know much about how to score in football, what the rules are, or even which team is which, but I know football, know Tim Tebow, and know Tim Tebow should play football for the Jacksonville Jaguars. I'm Chuck Norris and not only do I approve this message, I kicked this message's a*s!"

Segueing from that, expect to see the following headlines at some point in the future:

- "Sly Stallone suggests the Dodgers should sign Mickey Mantle"

- "Schwarzenegger feels refs should be eligible receivers for the home team"

- "Van Damme wants 3-pointers to be worth 7"

- "Seagal thinks the Chicago Blackhawks should go skateless"

- "Nobody cares for former action stars' advice in the sports world"

http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/9304223/chuck-norris-lauds-tim-tebow-urges-jacksonville-jaguars-sign-him
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