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Online Dating

How does one go about meeting a person? Oh, let me count the ways. Work. School. Church. Vacation. Through friends. Through family. Through friends of family. Through friends of friends. Restaurants. Bookstores. Clubs. Bars. Concerts. Parties. Personal ads in the paper. Personal ads in magazines. Telephone services on commercials. What did I leave out? The Internet.

Online dating seems to be more popular and accepted than ever. There are even online dating sites that are receiving their fair share of airplay on the radio and also on television. Numerous books have been written about online dating, mainly the how-tos (dummy's guide) or success stories. Unfortunately, all the stories I've heard and experienced in the online dating world have not been so positive.

Initially, it seemed like a good way to start a relationship with a person. Since they're not right there with you, conversation has to be made. Two people can then find similarities, commonalities and get a good feel for one another before they date face-to-face. But there's a downside to all of this. In fact, there are a couple of them. First thing's first, it's much easier for a person to lie when typing over the computer than it is for them to look another in the eyes and lie. It's easier for the listening party to tell by the tone of their voice, look in their eyes, or other gestures, how honest the person is being. Words typed on the screen are ambiguous. We can make of them what we want. Many only have the goal of lying to the point where they can get "some action." Another downside with all this is the fact that people are much more prone to rushing things on a physical and sexual level when they finally meet, especially if they've been talking for a long period of time. While their first time meeting may indeed be the first time they've physically been with one another, many times it won't feel like the first time, because of the deep, lengthy and personal conversations they experienced with one another. They may have even said the big "L" word before they met. There might even be a pressure felt to give in, since they've shared so much on a mental and emotional level with the person. On the flip-side, if two people just up and meet right away without talking to or getting to know each other at all, then they'll be more susceptible to bad or perhaps even dangerous dates.

The online world is nothing but a meat market it seems anymore. It's like the bar scene. Chances are, if a person looks long and hard enough, they'll find someone who wants to meet up with them that night and they both have the same thing in mind. There are decent people, but don't be too trusting and don't get too carried away before you meet a person. I say, treat it as a blind date that a friend set you up on. Talk to the person over the phone for a little bit, set up a group date and go out with your friends to meet this person, just in case he or she is trouble. Also, make sure that the get-together is at a public place, like a restaurant or bookstore. Make that first date short and sweet and if there's a comfortable vibe between the two of you, then keep in touch and set up a following date.

Never again will I trust the online dating world, but I have heard success stories here and there (mainly through advertisements on television and the radio). Just be careful and try not to get too carried away in the fantasy world in hopes that it'll become a reality.

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