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This is a burger. This is a burger on drugs (BK).

I think the screenwriter of the film "Half Baked" must be doing the Burger King commercials, because whoever is thinking up these things has to be on something.

A guy riding a chicken? "Big buckin' chicken. It's big and it's chicken...Buckin' chicken'." What kind of crack were they smoking then?

Or how about the theme of the ones with that guy in a funky-looking Halloween outfit and that king-on-marijuana mask?

There's one where he stalks a person to their home. That guy looks out, sees the king and smiles, laughs and smokes out of a bong before getting Burger King munchies.

There's another where birds flock on over to "The King" and peck on the ashes the wind blew back in his face from when he was smoking a few minutes earlier. Again, a lad starts laughing, smiling and enjoying a burger.

In yet another, "The King" was in bed with a construction worker and just hands him a burger. Then, "The King" and a group of construction workers get all happy and start jumping up and down on the bed, before getting into the x-rated portion that we're not allowed to see.

So, who is this "King?" A drug lord? Smuggler? User? Abuser? All of the above? Just watch, next they'll combine the two themes and have "The King" riding on the chicken as the chicken smiles and laughs from smoking a couple doobies.

I've got a song for "The King" and company. "Long, stupid commercials. They're long and they're stupid. Stupid commercials."

I don't think I'll be able to eat BK anymore just thinking back to these darn things. BK might want to switch writers, going from "Half Baked" to Bud (the other bud) or Bud Light, because I don't think I can take any more commercials like the ones I've seen from these guys in recent years.

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